Enjoy Life's Simple Beauties

It's really fun to see the leaves falling off the trees here.

My baby is napping. I'm all alone and have the doors/windows open and a hot cup of camomile tea. I hear the leafs blowing down the street (heavenly), wind chimes and the occasion neighborhood noise. It is cloudy, so it might rain. These are moments I cling to. :)

It's better in person:)

I'm in Utah visiting some friends and family and I've been home alone with my baby the last couple days while my brother works.

We don't have a car so it has been enjoying the atmosphere and just relaxing. We did watch 3 hours of Pooh Bear movies so I could get a project done... Haha but hey, you do what you have to do sometimes. 

This is what I worked on yesterday: 

Cool huh? This one is huge! I was accepted into my first art boutique, and dream catchers are on the list:)

Anyway, as I watched the yellow leafs fall outside my heart filled with so much gratitude and joy to be experiencing this simple yet indescribably beautiful moment. 

I wouldn't know how beautiful a moment was unless I traveled often. 

No, I'm not saying people that don't travel don't have moments where they feel this, but because I'm in different scenery, weather, and cultures often, the differences completely take my breath away, often. It almost feels like a dream/fairytale. I wouldn't be able to recognize these things without having experienced something different than my norm. 

I feel the same way about people I meet in different places around the world or even just in my own town who live a different lifestyle or just think slightly different than I. 

It is because of these different interactions of travel, meeting people and being in and enjoying the moment that opens me up to love these moments/people even deeper. 

I am so grateful to appreciate simple beauties like this. 

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Look around you and see what simple beauty you can enjoy. :)

Words: Chocolate milk

What's Worth Scrimping For

When to pinch a couple pennies vs when spending the "extra dollar" is the best option. 

I'm an avid saver. Time, money and energy saver. I'm constantly looking for ways to adjust my life and routine to be most efficient. It's been an ongoing process. By being diligent in these efforts I regularly have extra of these precious commodities to do what I desire most, like travel, have quality time with family/friends and truly relax.

This weekend I experienced an example of when spending a little extra money would have been the "wiser" decision.

Weighing What's Truly Important & What's Less Important (<--Even though this is important too)

My husband went on a mission for our church for 2 years when he was 19. He served in in Brussels Belgium and parts of France. This Friday night was his mission reunion and one of our Apostles, David Bednar, was speaking. James and I were both excited to see/meet old friends and learn some great tips about living a successful happy life/family by living Godly principles. 

The airline we normally fly to Utah has a track record of being late, so we decided to send James the day before the conference on a different airline and Olivia and I would fly the less expensive (yet less reliable) airline. Cause it was most important for James to be there right? If I DID miss it it wouldn't be as bad, but it would save us $35....... I look back at that and my heart sinks.

As guessed, the flight was SIX hours late, so I missed the conference. While I was waiting for the plane I was in peace, for I could not control the situation. But later that night after James told me of his experience and everything he learned, my little heart broke. I hadn't realized how much I really wanted to be there. I had the best outfit picked out. I was so excited to support James at this wonderful reunion and meet the companions(And their wives) who I've heard stories about. To share a bonding moment and hold the hand of a man I'm so proud to be married to. Then learn wisdom and strategy taught by an expert, in person.  ALL missed because I wanted to save $35. Thirty five dollars. I make more than that in ONE hours time. What was I thinking?

I was reminded this morning that money is unlimited and replaceable, experiences are not. Moments can not be bought back and time can not be rewound. My heart still stings this morning that I let money be my boss and I missed out on an experience, a moment, a memory that I will never get back again. I have learned from this experience and I will try to not have that happen again. 

My money, time, and energy saving habits have been highly beneficial, but they are also under constant refinement, adjustment, and growth. Taking a risk of fate (will this flight actually be on time) for $35 was not worth it. I missed out. 

Moving forward I will take more time to think about what's TRULY important instead of what's only important. 

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: You are not a victim of circumstance. Your choices dramatically affect your reality. You may not be able to control all the details,  it being proactive and wise makes a huge difference. Keep it simple: Be proactive today towards any area of your life you want to improve. 

Word: Priorites

If you'd like help figuring out your priorities and making your true desires a reality, contact me.

Mommy Dreamer, Don't Look Past The Dream You Are Already Living

Don't Look Past The Dream You Are Already Living.

This was a huge wake up call for me. Literally. It's 2:38 am and I've been up since 12:30am. My daughter is teething, 2 lower molars are just breaking their way through her bright red little gums. Poor little gal. So the last couple of days have been rough in the sleep department, for everyone involved.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm supposed to accomplish things/goals when I'm so sleep deprived. Which leaves me exhausted, imbalanced etc.

As I lay here, listening to her cry, I was reminded that in this moment, I am living what I asked for. What I’ve worked for. I wouldn't give up this moment, even the crying sleepless nights. Because being a mom is such an important desire of mine, and I’m smack dab in the middle of living it. J

I admit, the mom thing had to grow on me for years and years, but by the time the moment actually came to be a mom, I wouldn't have it any other way. And I feel so blessed to have the opportunity.

In the past I would work hard for something, reach it, and be onto the next "high" of goal setting and achieving. It got to the point of "why am I doing this?" For each victory was meaningless, empty, and short lived.

If I don’t take time to enjoy the “fruit of my labors,” it isn’t worth the effort.  I’ve had to work on stopping, embracing, and enjoying the moments of success and achievement, and in this case, is being a mother.

~~~~~~~~~

Well, my choice of motherhood has been refining that skill of ‘enjoying your creations’ even more. For motherhood isn't a "check off the list" endeavor. You don't just give yourself a high five and move on. It's a constant opportunity to enjoy, cherish and embrace the beauty.

~~~~~~~~~

So what I'm getting at is, I had to be reminded that in this very moment, I am living my dreams. I am successfully achieving my destiny, my desires and my purpose at 3am, in a dark room, tired eyes, with a hurting baby who needs me. I don’t need to feel sorry for myself that there is so much resistance to ‘become something more’ than I am now.  This resistance, learning how to take care of a wee human, is the best gift I have ever received. (And my sweet hubby) I always dreamed of being a wife and mother, and a wife and mother I am. I made it. It has been created. I have reached it. I will forever be, mom, momma, mommy.

I am grateful for the reminder that I'm "livin' the dream now" for these are the things that matter. If I were to neglect these moments for future endeavors I'd be chasing the same thing I did for years (An accomplishment high) and be empty and hopeless, with a handful of regret.

Now don't get me wrong, I strive daily to create my future, dreams and desires. But having the attitude that "I've arrived/made it" "I'm living my dreams this very second" and "I'm so grateful to be here now" makes the day go a little smoother. Makes the trying moments a little less loud and long. Makes my compassion overpower the passions that might actually try to steal this moment from me.

So as dawn breaks, and little smiles wake me up bright and early. As I get another opportunity to try again, to do the best I can. As I look over plans, dreams and goals tomorrow. As I work towards new things, I hope to always remember, that these moments wont last forever. That each day I progress slowly, but the present is of great worth. So learn to enjoy today, now. For the only thing stopping the future from becoming the present, is time.

I will strive to enjoy these beautiful moments. I’ve worked hard to be here.

(P.s. She's sleeping here, next to me, in bed now. Teal owl nighty, green stuffed froggie, comforted, snuggly little body and all. My precious little dream come true.)

Love

Momma Dreamer Di

Challenge: Look at what you can appreciate/notice in your life today that is a gift and choose an attitude of enjoyment, love and gratitude.

Word: Dependent :)

Riding An Old Rusty Boat

The story begins in the summer of 2009. My brother Doug and my friend Albert decided to go on a hike. Since I had been in "another world" for 5-6 years and wasn’t a very good person I hadn’t developed a relationship with my brother, or even knew Him very well. So this hike was the first time me and my bro had hung out and did anything for years. So I prayed and prayed and prayed that we would have a wonderful experience together so He’d want to hang out with me again. So we drove a couple hours to a place called Willow Springs lake (Arizona), which by the way, we found NO spring anywhere. Anyway, we began to hike, me, Doug, Albert and my dog Kiwi. We had never done this hike before, yet being adventurous we started off. We saw so many cool things, I caught a lizard and he bit the crap out of my hand over and over again as I held him for a picture. We jumped rock to rock, crossed logs, found cool things and enjoyed the scenery. After a couple hours we came to a bend in the lake, after contemplation we decided to “hike around the whole lake” for it looked pretty small, how big could it be, right?

So we continued hiking another hour and we ran out of water. We hoped it wasn’t much farther as we came around a bend. Doug pulled out his phone to look at a map and to our amazement we had not realized that there was whole other side of the lake we couldn't see from our car ! We were in the middle of the horse shoe! We could see my car across the other side of the lake, yet the water was freezing so we couldn’t swim. We had to come up with a game plan. Choices were, we could hike back the way we came, 7-8 miles, still with no water and it would take us another 3 hours. Or we hike forward around the other side, which on the map was longer then the way we came, estimating close to 10 miles, which would be 4 hours, and still with no water. We were in a pickle.

            Then the real adventure began. We remembered about 20 minutes back, a abandoned metal fishing boat. We hiked back to check it out. We took off our shoes, and went out about 20 feet out from the shore line. Luckily the water was pretty shallow. The water was cold as we arrived at the boat, it was full of black mucky water, pretty disgusting and had to have been sitting there a long time. We tried tipping the boat to get the water out, rocked it back and forth and splashed some of it out, but the boat was so stinkin heavy. An older man and his wife rowed by in their canoe. He asked “Is that your boat?” In a gruff angry tone. “No it’s not” we replied with a mischievous/adventurous grin. 

So after thinking it through using much “wisdom” and thought process, ;) we all got in the boat! Kiwi was our lady on the front of the boat, I sat at the back holding our shoes and technology to keep them as dry as possible. And Doug and Albert took turns "rowing."We had one large stick/log to push off the side and one stick that we thought would pass as a paddle. We thought, “Hey, how hard could it be? We can see the car. We’ll just float right on over to it.” WRONG!

So we leave the shore. The wind and current have a different idea. It starts to bring us over to where we want but then changes course and brings us to the middle of the lake. Once in the middle of the lake we realized how crazy we were, getting into that old nasty boat and going afloat! There could have been anything in the black mucky water, diseases, more fishing hooks (Which we had already found a couple), a homeless man? (Ha jk) And there could have been holes all though it! We might have sunk!! ha The so called “rowing” stopped and we laughed hysterically for a good 5 mins. I'm sure it echoed for miles!

Now in the middle of the lake, the same older man came by and said “Do you think that was the best idea?” “It's a little late now sir!” I said with a smile.

The boat soon took us over to a bank and we tied the boat off and hopped out onto dry land. We put out shoes back on and started hiking. The boat probably took off a good 8 miles and a couple hours of hiking. We still had a distance to go but we were closer! Our path came to a dam which we had to climb down the one side and back up the other to get over it. We then jumped a large chain link fance and BAM! We were back to my car and had an awesome story to tell! Such a fun moment!

Since then my brother and I have become best friends and love spending time with each other. I asked for the Lord to make this a wonderful memorable experience, and he DID! :)

5 Evidences That God Exists

I'm doing the LDS family services 12 step addiction recovery program (For emotional eating) and today I learned a lot from a question in step 2. Step 2 is titled: Hope.

"Many witnesses in heaven and in earth testify of God's existence. What evidences of God and his love have you experienced?"

Here's my condensed thoughts.

God exists because I am free

In June, 2016,  I'll be clean 8 years from my substance abuse, dark, destructive past. God exists because, through the healing atonement, I am clean. I am free. I have been released from bondage. And God freed me. There was no other way.

God exists because I still have purpose

Even after royaly messing up time and time again, he still believes in me, encourages me, inspires me, and has a message he wants me to share. I am not too far gone to be used for his purpose. This is hard to comprehend, because I know my weaknesses better than anyone, but it is continually evident that he wants my help. I am honored and reverenced, for God must contain more mercy and understanding than I can imagine.

God exists because he gave me a happy family 

I have a wonderful husband and beautiful daughter because of healing and forgiveness. My story could have been very different/opposite. But God showed me another way, and how to get out. 

God exists because I can see his love 

After all we can do, we still fall short. But it is in the daily tender mercies that I see his love the most. In times when I'm discouraged, feel weak or alone, those moments Gods words and promises are what keep me going. It is in the hope of God that my feet keep moving and my heart keeps beating love.

His love is around me, but it is up to me to open my eyes, see it, and appreciate it.

God exists because he has a purpose for you

If God can use me, even after all the times I disobeyed and dishonored him, He can use you. He has a purpose for you. Search for it, He will show you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In case you were wondering if God is really in your life or not. Or if you've felt you aren't loved as much as you'd like, I invite you to examine your life and open your eyes to the places of beauty, love and grace from God.

I believe God exists and loves us.

Love,

Dreamer Di

Challenge: Let yourself be loved:)

Words: Sound machine

Read another blog here:
http://daringtodream.blogspot.com/2016/03/2016-leap-of-faith.html

2016 Leap Of Faith

As I prepared to write this blog, I opened up the scriptures and this was highlighted. "...He delivered me, because he delighted in me."

 - 2 Samuel 22:20.

I believe that.

--------------

It's amazing to realize how much I've changed over the years.

With it being leap year I wanted to make a new goal for myself. A challenge to take on and accomplish. I feel like my plate is pretty full, but I love things like this. 

As I really thought and prayed about it the focus was on making my health my priority, my leap of faith. 

I have been actively working on my health for maybe 5 years. I have changed my lifestyle and nutrition, and it's a piece of me. I do yoga, walk or exercise 4-5 times a week and miss it when I don't do it. I take care of my body far better than I had in the past. I sleep A LOT more than I use to. I am gentle, kind, and have a deep love for my body. 

BUT..... 

There is a deeper underlying problem. I'm an emotional eater and cope emotionally with food.

This creates a dilemma.

No matter how much work I do. No matter how much effort is made, energy expelled, I need healing.

Healing for things I fell victim to. Things  I misinterpreted as a child and still do. Things I hold onto because of pain and being hurt. Things I just won't let go. 

And then forgiveness for trying to do it all on my own. Trying to protect myself with food, which doesn't make sense, but it was my my "drug" and my "god" for a while, but not anymore...

In September 2015 I started the 12 step addiction recovery program. This program has been adapted for Christians through LDS family services for people suffering from all sorts of addictions.

I happen to have found an eating disorder meeting that I attend weekly. Each person in those meetings has different struggles, but we're all there for the same purpose: We've had enough, we're searching for healing, and we're willing to go to work. 

I've used the atonement in my life for many different reasons but never connected that healing could come concerning my health and physical form. 

I was very skeptical in the beginning if this process would even work, but I chose faith, and to continue working the program until my belief grew. Each week as I study and work on pieces of the '12 steps to addiction recovery' I gain more strength and control because God is opening my eyes, showing me my triggers, giving me grace for myself and freeing me from bondage little by little. 

We (God and I) are actually getting to the root of the problem.

This program takes work, it's very humbling, takes commitment, time and soul searching, but I love it.

I am currently on step 2 and have seen so much progress and power over my weakness. I am excited to see what healing comes from working the other 10 steps as well.

Overall, the atonement has no end to what vice or struggle we may have. I know that as I continue being diligent, my freedom from bondage will come. God wants me/us to be free.

If you are struggling with addiction, or unhealthy coping, of any kind, I invite you to come to Jesus, your Savior. 

Will power will not heal me. But the power of my Savior, will.

Love,

Dreamer Di

Challenge: 

•Trust He can deliver you from bondage.

•Follow what he tells you to do, to be free.

Words: We can do this

Photo from Christart.com

The First Leap Of Faith

Leap year is a special time for me. :) My hope is, that as you read this, your perspective about your desires, dreams and designing your life is enlightened.

Four years ago, February 29, 2012, I left on a grand adventure to achieve a dream. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it was huge for me.

At the end of 2011 I was in a fight. I questioned if God wanted me to dream or do anything that I desired. At this point in time, I had been very diligent in following his directions as closely as possible and I fought the belief that I was just a servant and that my desires needed to be disregarded, didn't matter, there was no time, or he didn't care what my heart called for. So during this time I had a lot of really detailed conversations with him. I wrote for hours, talked to him out loud and really poured out my soul about wanting to live an awesome adventurous life full of travel, loving people, and excitement.

November 27th, 2011 journal entry: "I want to live the Life of faith, not just talk about it."

At the end of November I didn't know if it was possible, still didn't have anyone to go with me, didn't know how I'd make it happen, or what the plan was, but I booked the ticket to London England. A one way ticket, at that.

My leap of faith on leap year!  was so excited.

I prepared all the ways I knew was possible. (I have now learned that the things I was doing were not what it took to make a successful trip)

And, because of doing a million things to "prepare for my trip" and living on pure adrenaline, I found myself in a nervous break down 2 weeks before I left. (Who knew 3-4 hours of sleep a night  for 3 months could do that, right? -Sarcasm) So here I was, about to move across the world, by myself, for my first time ever, with no plan and nothing familiar, and I could barely function. My brain was fried, body was fried, but I left anyway. I had to dream and do it. 

So on leap year, February 29th, 2012 I took my leap of faith and left to explore Europe. It was definetly an adventure. ;)

I'm pretty sure I prayed more during that 2 month trip than I had in the last year. I was scoping out new territory and learning traveling skill sets yet I was handicapped by my exhausted mind and body. I needed help.

There were so many highlights and beautiful times on that trip, but also intense times of struggle. 

This trip exposed every weakness I had. Lack of planning, preparation, money management, time management, balance, huge lack of sleep and taking care of myself etc. 

I came back from this trip feeling betrayed and that God, especially, had betrayed me. 

I couldn't understand why it had been such a hard trip, when dreaming was suppose to be the most amazing thing, and something people intensely desired. I  remember feeling "Forget traveling the world, forget being a writer, forget wanting a family! Etc. If dreaming is this hard, I want nothing to do with it!!"

I did not understand why God had forsaken me and left me to crash and burn on "the trip of my dreams." And especially the first time I tried trusting him and dreaming!!! :/

Little did I know, he was preparing me for so much me:)

So over the next couple years I worked diligently to try and put my life back together. My passion had dampened, my identity destroyed, I was tired and angry. I was still faithful and believed, but I had a bone to pick with God for a good while. I knew I had to find some understanding on why this happened, and hopefully turn it into something for my benefit, not destruction.

I was weak and wounded, but I had to keep moving. There had to be more. So, with all my lovely weaknesses exposed, that's where I started…

I drilled routine and balance. I asked God lots of questions about what I needed, and what I needed to learn, and he told me. A lot of these skills came against/were opposite of some of the best parts of my personality: Going with the flow, and letting things slide off my back, letting the wind blow me, and enjoying that, were now replaced with focuses on structure, routine, strict budget, and higher standards. I was desperate to learn the skills I so desperately lacked in.

For example:  
- I figured out how much money I needed for the month and cut my income down to exactly that. This forced me to live on a strict budget and to use my resources wisely. ***I since have become more minalist minded.
- I found jobs to work from home. Oh my goodness. If you would like to learn discipline, time management, balance and routine, start working from home. Again, this forced me to know where every minute of my time was going. Bed time was a must, exercise helped me focus, certain work hours in the day, choosing not to get distracted, and setting boundaries with myself and others I lived with and loved. *** I since love and thrive on time management/structure and balance/peace are accomplished often. (Still have a long way to go!)

I mean, I dove head first into learning these things, in whatever way possible, rash or not!

This was a very difficult time for me, but after a couple years I started to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

I was real reluctant to start dreaming and goal setting...

But since, I have dreamed again. :) 

To be honest, the first time I "dreamed again" was about getting married in May 2014. I trusted, had faith, exercised energy, planned, commited and moved forward.

Which then led to another beautiful thing… then another. Goals and dreams awoke again. Working in Alaska for the summer with my new husband at a wilderness lodge, planning trips for friends to come visit there, loving all the details and using strategy to make the trips awesome. Getting pregnant. Traveling through 5 countries in Europe and it was successful and fun. Finding the exact living arrangements we were looking for. Me personally, paying cash for the water birth of my little girl in a birth center. (Money management) These are just a couple special ones to me.

My dreaming is wiser, strategic and directed now.

Instead of starting 20 projects, I start one. I sleep, I work on balance, enjoy the moment and enjoy people. A daily work in progress, but the efforts are there.

My mind is still not back to same place as before my nervous break down, I am still fighting some doubts about dreaming from this experience, I am still building upon my passion, belief, and determination, but I wouldn't take back this experience for anything. This challenging experience has moulded me into more than I ever could have become without it!

With time I have learned that God does want me to dream. He does want me to go/work for the things in my heart that I most desire. That trip gave me an opportunity to be humbled and then be teachable to the skills needed to make my dreams and desires possible. With these new skills I can take an idea and create it, so it happens, and it happens well. Each time I step out to achieve something, I learn and gain more knowledge. I love that. For I know that future dreams will take more effort, skill and energy. I am happy I'm learning and will be prepared for when they come.

I now also believe that God is on my side to help my life be fun, exciting and adventurous. He is there to counsel, guide, and open/close doors for me.

I have learned that a lack of planning, a lack of preparation and a lack of skill does not make dreams come true, but it doesn't always have to be that way. ;)

I have learned that consistent peaceful action pays off.

Life has it's struggles, somedays more than others, but overall, I am happy and believe that it's possible to design my life and dream.

Love,
Dreamer Di

Challenge:
- Think of something you want, write down some ideas of how to make it happen.
- If you're not sure how to make it happen: Ask someone who has a track record of achieving goals and dreaming of how to map out a to do list.
- Then commit to your goal, and follow directions. :)

Words: Spanish dancer

Dressing up for the Feria, an event I had dreamed of experiencing since I was 5 years old. The entire town of Sevilla shuts down for an entire week to celebrate their culture. No work, no school, just celebrating! We happened to be there opening night! Everyone dresses up in traditional Spanish attire. The women wear a different flamenco dress everyday and the streets are lined with so much beauty. It was the most amazing experience. This was a gift to be there.

Paris France

Riding the buses in London England. Teddy came to join me at this point. :)

Bikes around Buckingham Palace.

Even did an at home concert for guests. Happened to be on my birthday too:)

Beauty of England :)

Lock bridge, Paris France

Defeat Or Victory

This has been an interesting week. I have had many opportunities to get back up and try again. I feel like I haven't had to face these feelings, at least this strong, for a while.

I have a lot of really important things I am working on and skills I am learning that are taking a lot of work. There were times this week where I felt complete defeat, and actually believed the lie that I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep up with the pressure and amount of growth happening and required of me. I would feel overwhelmed and sit and do, nothing. But then had to straighten out my thoughts and get up and try again.

I think my feeling of defeat comes for a couple reasons.
One, and I think the main one, is that I'm really catching fire in these areas and making awesome things happen. I am pushing through so many fears and excuses. 'Fruit' and results are well on it's way. So there is a lot of resistance and forces trying to stop me.

Two, (And I learned this today) That my mind gets running with ideas and sets more expectations and tasks that are not actually required of me. So of course I can't live up to them, or feel stressed because of them, for I am taking more than I am given to accomplish. And what I mean by that is this: I truly believe God has a purpose for each and every person in this world. I believe that if we listen, He will mold us, prepare us, and teach us to become something great in His eyes, whatever that may be. I have learned over time to discern what comes into my sphere and to go with the flow of what is presented, and for me to learn. This has taken A LOT of trial and error, but I can say I'm flowing now and trust in the process. Now, side note: Flow does not mean it's 'free-flowin-easy'. No…. this flow is freaking challenging and stretching me. Probably requiring more of me than any time in my life. There are moments when I feel on top of the world, and others I don't know how the heck I'm suppose to do what's required of me. Its freaking irritating, frustrating, discouraging and at times I feel like a complete failure seeing all that is falling short, even with all I can do. Which brings me to my next point.

Three, I stop counting my sprouts. Sprouts meaning my progress. The tiny little things I do daily towards a goal. The problem is, sometimes I left my mind slip into seeing the 2 bad/negative/sloppy/non-perfect things in the day and am blind to the 40 others that I ROCKED. It is a pile of poooey to think that way! But this really catches me up, a lot. Now I'm sure it's human nature to be accustomed to seeing your faults, but it's one thing to see them, condemn yourself and let it throw you into sadness and defeat. And another to see the positive/great things in your life FIRST but also be wise enough to notice your faults and adjust your next day to hopefully be better than you were yesterday. I also think one of my biggest struggles is life is never consistent. Especially with having a child, who is a wonderful gift and joy, but is a highly uncontrollable element. So things are constantly 'on the adjust'. And I, by the moment, am having to use creativity to figure out how I can still get the important things taken care of while still working on enjoying the moment and remaining in peace……………  I would put a lot more dots after that statement, and it's moment of silence, but I will move on.. ha ;) Anyway, It's been crazy. I have to constantly work on daily preparation and think of anything possible I can do today and not save for tomorrow or do earlier instead of later. ex: Picking out my outfits/jewelry the night before, getting ready for bed oober early, making hubby lunches the day before, planning my tasks/timelines for the next day, brainstorming how I can adjust something if things don't go as planned, meal planning, delegating, hiring help, did I mention planning?? ha You name it. ha I'm exhausting all I know and can, to try to balance things. I'm up for the challenge, but I'm sure this is ONLY the beginning…. ;)

But, you know why I do these things? You know why I push against the grain and put all my soul into creating something beautiful? Because I am a Dreamer. I believe there is more. That the things that are important to me, are possible. So I'm willing to work for it. I have to. It's a piece of me.

So, As I put my sweet baby to bed tonight, and after having a day of struggling if what I was doing was worth it. I got up and did a handful of things to prepare for the next day. And, the determination and hope came back. Yeah, not the strongest I've felt, but enough to say, "You can do this, try it again tomorrow."

So as I finish up my 'day-before' planning, finishing up little odds and ends, and even writing this blog, I have hope. I have hope I can do this. I can learn what is placed in front of me, and if I keep moving, and lean on God's strength, and not my own, I will make it. You will make it. We all will make it.

So before you go to bed tonight, I invite you to pick out five things you did well today and are proud of. Then, one thing you will do better tomorrow.

If you're struggling and need balance or solutions. You can find them. A lot of times I find them on my knees, while I'm writing, but especially while I am in action to what I have been told. But they all have one common denominator, Gods help. So give him a holler. I'm sure he'd love to shine some light on your path.

Just an idea.

Well Dreamers, I'm off to bed.

Be well, be beautiful, be you. :)

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Talk to God tonight about what you feel and need.

Words: Spanish Dancer

You're Doing Ok.

If you haven't used the app 'Timehop', I'd recommend it. It shows you what you've posted on that day from years past. 

It's been so interesting to read all the blogs I have posted over the years. It's funny cause I sware to you, each one I've been reading applies to what I am learning today. 

Before I might have gotten disappointed that I'm in the same learning process again and maybe become sad. 

But as I read one from January 3rd, 2014 I learned that yes, we may go through some of the same cycles, but each time we are building upon the last building blocks. 

Some skills take longer to learn than one 'season of learning.' 

So as I read a section and saw I'm struggling to refine the same area, Focus, I learned from myself years ago and found I am wiser now than I was then. I also was reminded of some things I had forgotten. 

So today I built another brick in my 'focus wall' and also learned more grace for myself in my learning process. I realize I'm doing ok, "Rome wasn't built in a day" and some skills take time. I'm grateful for that.

Anyway, hope you can look back at your past self and learn from your victories  AND struggles.

You're awesome. Keep on keepin on yo.

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: learn, and love it.

Word: love

Ps. I write this with a sleeping baby in my arms. One of my sweetest moments and blessings:)