As I prepared to write this blog, I opened up the scriptures and this was highlighted. "...He delivered me, because he delighted in me."
- 2 Samuel 22:20.
I believe that.
--------------It's amazing to realize how much I've changed over the years.
With it being leap year I wanted to make a new goal for myself. A challenge to take on and accomplish. I feel like my plate is pretty full, but I love things like this.
As I really thought and prayed about it the focus was on making my health my priority, my leap of faith.
I have been actively working on my health for maybe 5 years. I have changed my lifestyle and nutrition, and it's a piece of me. I do yoga, walk or exercise 4-5 times a week and miss it when I don't do it. I take care of my body far better than I had in the past. I sleep A LOT more than I use to. I am gentle, kind, and have a deep love for my body.
There is a deeper underlying problem. I'm an emotional eater and cope emotionally with food.
This creates a dilemma.
No matter how much work I do. No matter how much effort is made, energy expelled, I need healing.
Healing for things I fell victim to. Things I misinterpreted as a child and still do. Things I hold onto because of pain and being hurt. Things I just won't let go.
And then forgiveness for trying to do it all on my own. Trying to protect myself with food, which doesn't make sense, but it was my my "drug" and my "god" for a while, but not anymore...
In September 2015 I started the 12 step addiction recovery program. This program has been adapted for Christians through LDS family services for people suffering from all sorts of addictions.
I happen to have found an eating disorder meeting that I attend weekly. Each person in those meetings has different struggles, but we're all there for the same purpose: We've had enough, we're searching for healing, and we're willing to go to work.
I've used the atonement in my life for many different reasons but never connected that healing could come concerning my health and physical form.
I was very skeptical in the beginning if this process would even work, but I chose faith, and to continue working the program until my belief grew. Each week as I study and work on pieces of the '12 steps to addiction recovery' I gain more strength and control because God is opening my eyes, showing me my triggers, giving me grace for myself and freeing me from bondage little by little.
We (God and I) are actually getting to the root of the problem.
This program takes work, it's very humbling, takes commitment, time and soul searching, but I love it.
I am currently on step 2 and have seen so much progress and power over my weakness. I am excited to see what healing comes from working the other 10 steps as well.
Overall, the atonement has no end to what vice or struggle we may have. I know that as I continue being diligent, my freedom from bondage will come. God wants me/us to be free.
If you are struggling with addiction, or unhealthy coping, of any kind, I invite you to come to Jesus, your Savior.
Will power will not heal me. But the power of my Savior, will.
•Trust He can deliver you from bondage.
•Follow what he tells you to do, to be free.
Words: We can do this