This experience is literally forcing me to come to people, ask for help and be vulnerable.
That is not a natural quality of mine. I have always stood strong on my two feet and tried to help others stand along the way.
I have never trusted people, in their word, motives or action. I don't know where this pain and false belief comes from, but I have a feeling their about to change.
I have started reaching out to people that I THINK love me.
I have struggled to FEEL any type of love in return from any person for as long as I can remember.
The love I give is pure and from my heart, but it is also given in faith, for I haven't felt the results given from giving love. I can assume someone loves me, but have never felt it.
I feel this struggle has created space for my heart to receive love like I have never known.
I believe in reaping what I sow. I feel I have sowed pure love and continue to sow that love into people. I have faith that those seeds I have planted will come back to me with fruit.
Yes, it is not knowledge, but it's hope and faith that keeps me giving.
I am humbled to be at the receiving end. I don't necessarily like it here, but again, I trust the gift of love I will be receiving will be worth it.
I am seeing more love, grace, mercy, and gentleness from God than I ever have. I am blown away and grateful. As for you, I also thank you for those of you who have reached out to me in my time of need.
Talking with a good friend of mine I realized I am right in the middle of a BLAZING fire of refinement.
I am proud of that, no matter how hard it may be.
I will come out shiny and new on the other side.
And my hope is that my ability to love and receive love will be deeper than ever before because of it. I will hold onto that thought.
Thank you for your prayers during this time.
Challenge: Let yourself be loved
If you like my writing, please share. I am wanting to reach other people struggling with the same wrestle of hope and love I am. Thank you:)