Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Keep going!

A couple nights ago some people were talking, and a statement really stood out to me. "People usually get lost in the transition phase." This really got me thinking. For we set these goals, and we set them high, we work and work and work, and when we don't reach them when we think we should, some of us back out. I have been feeling this a little bit, I am constantly working towards my goals but after a while I've been like, "Ok, and the end result when?" You can't help but wish things would come faster, yet the learning along the way is most important, so it should be worth it right? I guess it's just the way you look at it. 

I realized that my vision was off focus too. If you loose track of why you're doing what you're doing the hard work isn't as worth it as before and you might want to cave. SO! My vision is being restored again and I am back on track, not that i wasn't working towards my goals. But i wasn't doing it the most efficient way, with the right heart and right attitude, in joy. I had forgotten that each day I strive to have passion, fire and love included. My goal is to enjoy each moment I'm given and make the most of it. 

I've been uptight lately, probably the last couple years actually, and I'm starting to let loose and be free again. I feel this is preparing me for the freedom in Spain and Europe. I keep having this vision in my mind of running towards a beach in Europe, the sun is hot but the breeze is cool, the sand is soft and clean. I am running with a man I have met, laughing hysterically with glee as we are throwing off excess clothing, marking our path in the sand. Then breaking into the cool sea, crashing against the first wave, as the water splashes up onto our faces, we thank God for such beauty...... Um, freedom? I wish i could portray the release and art of letting go that comes with such a vision and activity. Just every moment, in the moment. Every step, worth it. I have lived like this before but I had forgotten, so i must relearn some skills in being free. Sharpen my saw for who I am, that I may pierce the hearts of many but my love, passion and zeal for life.  Plus now I can take the new things I have learned the past 3-4 years and apply them to my lifestyle of being free. I have missed you sweet freedom.

Much Love!

Challenge: Push your comfort zones, do something you are scared of like:
1. Dance ferociously in a supermarket where at least 20 people are watching. 
2. Laugh hysterically out loud in a bank.
3. Wear clothes that don't match at all and wear it proud.
4. Plan a trip somewhere that seems so un-logical you feel you might burst.
5. Prank call your boss

The sooner you start facing the fears of what people think of you, the closer you are to freedom!

Word of the day: Oatmeal

Monday, November 28, 2011

So I've started packing for Europe, yes, I know, I leave in three months. Starting a little early you think? Not so, I'm organizing what my true needs are, so I can buy them over time, see what I already have and maybe receive some items as gifts for Christmas. Launching to a different country, and leaving everything I know, I kinda want to feel compfortable, have what I need and leave in peace. So I am getting logistics tied down now.. I now have a place for my car while I'm away and where I will be putting my things for storage, free of cost, which is nice. I have a place for my dog to go and am almost locked into where my furniture will be. Leaving is a lot more work than just picking up and off we go, there are responsibilities to take care of and such. But over time I have learned how I work and what preparations are needed. So hopefully everything will work out.

I am grateful for my Dani Johnson training, for traveling almost every month I have learned how to need less and only bring what is neccessary, so packing for europe will be a lot easier. I am now down to bringing one carry on bag and a backpack for the trip. Which then my goal is to leave the carry on at my host families house and be able to travel with just a backpack for a couple weeks to a month. Then be able to go back to my host families and trade in some items. I'm researching what exactly is needed, what the weather will be like and where I will be going. I have a handful of friends in Europe, so I'll be planning time with them. I'm excited to see a lot of beautiful things and meet some beautiful people. :)

Well, off to Hot Yoga, which is an 80min Yoga class in 100 degrees F. and 40% humidity... Yeah yoga in a steam room. I love it.

Challenge for today: What controls your life? Stuff? Your dreams? People? I challenge you to really look at what brings you happiness and work on finding that true happiness inside yourself..

Word of the day: Sheep

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

So the last couple weeks I've let myself feel defeated.. Which I just realized today and will put an end to that! I've realized that when I move towards something big, meaningful and beautiful that is when the most opposition hits, we are tested the most and the learning curve slants vertically upward.. Know that the temptation with achieving something cool is to retreat. Hold your ground! But hey, if it were all a piece of cake then we wouldn't enjoy it as much or cherish it as much in the end.. So I've been working on a handful of things for a couple years, some longer than others, and I am ready to finally become victorious in them and I'm almost to the finish line!

I was reading back in my old journals the last couple of days and I found an exert yesterday that explained EXACTLY how I was feeling now! AHHH! Which means I'm in the same test again. I'm grateful I have more than one chance to pass a test but come on right?! I'm so grateful I write in my journal daily for I can go back and learn from the knowledge I've learned before. So pretty much I'm determined to learn this skill for good. So I'm going to work on it.

Anyway, taking care of my elderly friends all day today. Let me tell you, this job is never boring... haha but I enjoy the excitement of change daily, the entertaining senile conversations, the new experiences I have and hope to never have again, and the love and friendship I feel here, is amazing.

Challenge: Love an elderly person today! Squeeze em, conversate, give em a cookie, dance with them, whatever your little heart desires!

Word of the day: Pants

Monday, November 21, 2011

Face your fears

Do you ever feel out of balance? Today I am working on priorities AGAIN, which feels like the thousandth time, but I am counting on my persistence to master these skills. Learning new skills is challenging, takes work and you face a lot of fears. I have been wanting to find my fears so I can face them and get rid of them. And MAN! what a trip, I am finding them.. In the past I would never let myself feel fear, for I always had a way of justifying everything into making it ok. So now.. that I'm not trying to control everything in my life I am having to face things I've never had to face before and do things I never thought I would have to do. Putting myself on the table and expressing THIS IS ME and not having to care what the response is. It's exhilarating, nerve racking and a wild ride but fun at the same time, for I know that I will come out fearless in these areas in the end.

What fears do you face? I challenge you to fight them, to stand your ground and become the person you want to be. Who I am today is because I have faced many fears, stretched the limitations I had put on myself, and fought for what I wanted and believed I could be. I don't know If you believe in God, but I feel that my journey to the present has been so much easier with Him on my side, and finally letting Him direct my life I have peace even in storms and He is directing my path in ways I never would have expected. I am so grateful for the friendship of my God.

Challenge: Think about what keeps you from your goals and dreams. Begin to stand up to it, today. (If you don't know what your goals and dreams are, start there, think of something you want and start walking towards it.) I'm proud of you! :)

Word of the day: Courage

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Need... More... Sleep!

In the recording studio again last night. We recorded the vocals to "Love is Battlefield" and it was a blast! In the beginning it was a little nerve racking, for I've never put my my talent on the table like that. Kinda scary to give of something so beautiful to you and be willing to have criticism of what needs to change or what could be better. But after a little while I became comfortable and was able to give my all. It was quite fun to experiment and learn some more. The guys I work with are so awesome and talented in what they do, and all three of us are learning the skills we want to perfect, so it's cool. :) totally need to sleep after work though, in the last four days I've gotten 15 hours of sleep.. compared to the 32 recommended... ooops.. haha way stoked about the songs being recorded though. I feel so blessed! :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Music Time!

Last night I was in the recording studio with my buddies John and Kyle. I love these guys! I have to say I'm so blessed to have such wonderful men in my life, who respect and honor me, talented and have a lot of fun! Anyway, we messed around in the studio for a good five hours. We're working on recording two of my songs, "Battlefield of Love" which is expressing the fight we fight for the Love we have and to hold on to hope for love is what we live for. It's a pretty rad song. We're having fun with the different percussion/beat to put to it. Each time we record it I get the coolest pictures and stories in my mind of a literal battle with armour and all going in to fight for what we love. It's been a really cool experience to record. The 2nd song is called "Take my hand" and tells a story of a girl swimming in the ocean and a guy coming in a row boat and pulling her out, saving her life and that's when their love story begins. The song has an irish pirate sound and was the first song I ever wrote back in May 2011. I had never written a song before and all of a sudden I was hit with inspiration in May and have been writing music ever since. It's really enjoyable!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Rationed Food

I'm in Washington DC today, I decided not to go into the city today for the transportation, bus tour and food would add up. I'm really focusing on being smart with my money. I made my decision today like this: go visit the capital, which I've toured before OR save that money for a nice seafood dinner on the beach of France... France seemed like a better option. :) I leave to Europe on February 29th 2012, for this is one of my dreams. So I have been preparing for a while.

Speaking of food, I learned about rationing my food this weekend, for I go to a seminar called First Steps to Success, which is put on by a lady named Dani Johnson, (Danijohnson.com) It's put on about once a month and you travel all over the United States and internationally too. I only bring one carryon bag with me, with everything I need, my specific outfits picked out, accesories, supplies and all my food for the 4-5 days I'm traveling. This travel organization skill I've learned and perfected over time. I brought enough food but not much excess for any extra nibbling then what I had planned for the day, and spending money wasn't an option.. So rationing was, which I am grateful for this experience, because it made me realize that some days of travel in europe I might only have the food on my back, and to make money stretch I'm going to be very frugal. So no stopping at a "fast food" or resturant, I gotta eat what I have, carefully. I believe all my needs will be taken care of while I'm there, but being being smart with what I have is a good idea too. During this thought process I realised that I am going to start preparing now by eating very small meals and only eating as I get hungry. And drinking more water with my meals to fill me up quicker. This is going to help with the weight I want to release too. I'm grateful for my earlier travels, for my food packing is smarter, more balanced diet and able to pack without a cooling source. Pretty excited to be prepared in this department for Europe. Preparing for smart/limited packing..

Yep, I'm a Dreamer

Today is my first day blogging.. I'm starting this blog because I want to share the journey I am on. I've always had dreams and things I've wanted to do, places I've always wanted to see, people to meet. I have lists and list of things hanging all over my walls, written in journals and on sticky notes that decorate my desk, doorway and bathroom mirror. So many things I've always wanted to accomplish and do. So many things I've wished I could give to the world, who I could be, and the impact I always hoped I could make. My dream of somehow touching the lives of others by something miraculous and exciting. I realized that at this moment I have my dreams, my life and who I am to offer. I have my journey of how I got here, where I'm going and my story. My lists of victories and defeats, what's made me stronger and lessons I've learned. More and more of my dreams are coming true as I focus and take one step at a time.

This world isn't what it used to be, with fears, doubts and pain that paints many lifes and situations around us. I've found that there is always a silver lining, there is always a new hope, a new day. Each one of us can live the life we've always wanted, if we dare. We can fight for what we love so dear, stand for what we believe, for I believe you can. Think of what you truly want, where you want to go, what you want to do, who you want to become. It takes a choice, it takes a desire, it takes courage to dare to dream. My hope is that my story, my dreams and my life may inspire at least one person to live their life according to what they truly want. For what if we knew we couldn't fail? What would we do? This is something I am beginning to explore myself, what if I ~couldnt~ fail....? Well, then I would have nothing to lose, right? I will keep experimenting with that thought.. :) I want to share with you what makes me so happy, living my dreams. For I am Diana Flammer, and I dare to dream!