Monday, July 14, 2014

Dreamer By Trade

My hobby is dreaming. This is where I find my greatest kick and enjoyment. It is in sitting down, practicing my gift of agency and making some decisions.

Which then leads to a plan, then action.

All I know is, every cool thing that’s ever happened in my life has come from plugging into some moving music, planning and going over details with God. Then it’s digging in my heals and getting to work.

Life is an exciting playground when you plan and believe.

Dreamer by trade..

Preparing for the next one,  ;)
Dreamer Di

Challenge: Dream, plan, do

Words: Leap, move, go, stretch

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

6 Years Sober!


6 YEARS AGO TODAY I chose to walk away from a self-destructive lifestyle of substance abuse, darkness, and rebellion. I took a leap of faith from a living HELL, and into the arms of my Savior.  

I am living PROOF that God is a Redeemer and the Atonement is real, transforming, and healing. He can take someone who is sad, and broken, and make them new. 

You CAN change, others can change. 

Give Jesus and His Atonement a chance to touch your heart, and change your life. I invite you to come unto Him. There is no pain, problem or vice He can't heal.

Thank you to all who have influenced my life for good, and helped me get to this moment. :)

Rock it,

Dreamer Di

Challenge: Have faith in yourself that change is possible.

Word: sheep






Ps. I just got to touch a pet porcupine :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Alaska Rainfall Child

I decided life would be magical today. 

The hubby and I parted ways for a bit, and I went for a walk through the woods by the river. I sat on the bank for a good hour, listening to the cool 'glacier blue' water rush by. I sipped on some hot coco and held my little red umbrella. At times it started pouring, so I playfully hid under the green canopy of some friendly trees. I felt as a child, excited, grateful, and full of life.

As the rain poured stronger I walked farther through shadowed pathways. The flowers are blooming, and little mice are running around through the underbrush. The innocent bugs and birds are cute as ever, and surprisingly the mosquitos have left me alone:)

There is solace here. Silence here. Growth, healing, and beauty. Exactly what a hungry soul needs. :) Nature has always been my safe place of enjoyment.

I am happy to be here. :)

... Now to go find my handsome hubby. :)

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Feed your soul

Words: Sunlight, Rainfall 

Goal: Take time to do what I love :)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Growing A Gardener

Hello Dreamers,

Cool things from yesterday:

*I saw two butterflies mating! Doin their creation thang.

*I had the opportunity to work in the garden and plant a whole bunch of flowers! I'm learning a lot for my own life through symbolism. It's really cool!

* I learned about preparing soil,  transplanting plants from the nursery into fresh wet soil. Everything has so much purpose, it is spectacular. 

My biggest lesson from gardening today was about transplanting a "nursery plant" into the prepared soil. As you carefully pulled the tiny vulnerable plant out of the plastic container you had to "tickle" (as my boss called it) the roots to help loosen them. (Carefully spread them apart) This helps the plants expand their roots easier so they survive being transplanted. 

Applying it to life:
To continue growing, to reach your highest potential, you must keep having experiences, meet new people, do cool things and continue to loosen your roots so they can expand and reach deeper. Therefore becoming the full plant and flower you were designed to be.

Staying in a little plastic container is not your destiny. ;)

It was an honor to plant these new little plants into this purposefully prepared soil. 

They now can reach their full potential. 

My heart is full.

The growing gardener,
Dreamer Di

Goal: Prepare the "soil" of my own life to have it flourish like a garden.

Challenge: Think about what dreams you want to plant in your "life garden." And learn how to make them grow:)

Words: Watering can

Here are some flowers I planted and the romantic butterflies. :) the dogs name is Bella. :)

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Balancing Dreams

Hello my dear dreamer,
It has been such a long time since I have written you. I've missed sharing my insights and feelings with you.

I am struggling to tap back into some of my hearts desires..

The more I think about it, the more I find how much I have let my dreams die.

Over the last two years I have really put some things on the back burner. My enthusiasm about life has slowly diminished and I miss its “friendship.” :)

I still adventure, yes. I still do some things I love, yes. But I have tasted pure enjoyment and satisfaction and I desire to find it again.

I have found that satisfaction comes from having balance in important areas or my life. I have parts of my life that are thriving and others that are dormant/dying. Pieces of my soul that are calling out to be expressed. So I will figure out how to express them.

Just as a gardener would tend to a sick plant, I am doing the same for my dreams. I need to find what fertilizer is needed, what pieces need to be pruned, and the right amount of water/sunlight etc.

In the moments when I have lived a life of excellence, I find the most fulfillment.

A life of excellence takes work, lots of it. I feel so inadequate at times, but I have to remind myself it takes one step at a time to climb a mountain.

At times climbing a mountain has been tough, and the temptation to quit and turn around has been ever present and real. But, as I continue to move forward, strengthen and determination is earned.

I’m trying to figure out my next step.

I’ll be making extra phone calls to Heaven for help.. ;)


All in all, my circumstances are great, job is great, hubby is wonderful and fun. I am happy with the progress that is being made. It’s just about finding the balance. Giving my dreams some space to fly is next on the list to adjust.

May faith and power be with you my game-changers/dreamers,
Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Dig your dreams out of the ground and use them.

Words: Risk-taker

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Love Story Proposal

I am so happy to share this beautiful moment with you. Sorry it has taken us so long to fill you in. :)

Ok… We have known we are getting married for a while, but with James being gone on the trail most of the time, things are a little different. :)

We have been making plans, running around with logistics etc, but just needed this last little piece (A ring and asking the sweet question) to make it official :)

I'll have to fill you in on our entire story another time. It has been quite an adventure, but I would not trade a single moment. For our relationship is so deep, rich and beautiful, because of the work we have both put in, this 4+ years.

Here is the story from the last couple days and the engagement night.

My roommate, Bethany, asked me a couple weeks ago if she could book me for the evening of March 28th. I had told my friends that when James was home from the trail I was completely unavailable for hanging out, for most of my time was spent with him…. So her asking was suspicious from the beginning haha

I assumed that it was probably the night that James was going to propose, but I played it cool and naive… haha I plotted in my little head about how I was going to make sure I got enough sleep that week, bought a new outfit etc. I was going to be ready!!!

A couple days ago I was working out with that same roommate and I decided to ask her what I was suppose to wear for friday evening. This was her response: "Something you can run in…" "WHATTTTT?! WHY?!" was my reaction… (I can imagine my facial expression was priceless… haha)  It through me off, big time. Every idea I had mentally come up with was suddenly crushed and I was left completely in the dark. haha My mind was boggled… "Maybe he wasn't proposing that night" I thought….

A couple days went by and James came home from the trail (Wednesday March 26th) I was so excited to see him. The next day was my birthday (Thursday, March 27th) and we had a fun day. We went to breakfast with his Anasazi coworkers and I got a free blueberry muffin after my meal, with a melted pink candle, which I shared. :D Then I drove around and picked up free food from a bunch of restaurants for us. Then James and I went up to my favorite place in the mountains. At the end of exploring we ended up on a little hill in the middle of the most beautiful valley where we held each other close and watched the sunset over the rolling mountains.

I was beautiful. He was so romantic. I wish I could have recorded the words he spoke to me.

The thing I love so much about James is he speaks from his heart. He has never once spoken something to me that he didn't mean or feel. Even when I wanted him to feel, be or say something, he never once "told me what I wanted to hear" or "beat around the bush." He has always been honest with how he felt. 

So when he does speak, especially of love, it is so powerful. It fills my soul with so much joy and connects me to him even more.

He gave me 4 gifts for my birthday, each symbolizing something beautiful.

The first 2 gifts he gave me on the mountain. He made each of them while out on the trail. :)

The hand carved spoon symbolizing his promise to provide for my needs and take care of me. The dream catcher symbolizing his desire to also be one to help catch my dreams, that they may come true. These were such perfect gifts. I love him. <3

SOOOO the day finally came (Friday March 28th)

I woke up to a phone call from my friend Rosa who informed me that I was going to be picked up at 6:45pm and I was going to be blindfolded, first thing. I freaked out again. "WHAT???!!!" I seriously didn't know what was going to happen now…

I was picked up, given a little note as a clue, blindfolded and driven far far away into never-never-land. (If you ever want to simulate the feeling of flying in a plane: Ride blindfolded on the freeway… haha)

We arrived and took the longest walk of my life (because I was blindfolded) to a mystery place. (Rosa and Rachel were my escorts) It ended up that we were playing laser tag!!! This is one of my favorite things! 

James and a whole bunch of my friends and family were there too. (I had been told James wasn't invited, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him!) We played 2 rousing laser tag games. I ran and screamed like a little girl many many times… haha ;)

I then was told to say good bye to everyone and I was to leave. I then was blind folded again, given another clue, and we drove for another 500 years… haha (Time really does slow down when you have no clue what is happening)

(This is when things started to get sentimental= me emotional)

We got to our next stop and they walked me through some wet grass (Which felt quite interesting and unexpected between my little toes haha) to a forever distance again. I was stopped and told to open my eyes. I was standing under a beautiful tree where it was to symbolize the beauty of my soul and where my heart truly lies: in the beauty of the earth, and to always remember this piece of me. This made me really happy. 

We then walked up some stairs to Rosas apartment where she handed me a bag of clothes and accessories to put on. In the bag were some of my own clothes (I have no idea how I didn't recognize all of that stuff was gone out of my closet)

I silently put the outfit, accessories and heals on, for my heart was so full from the love of everyone involved, this was a team effort… :')

The amount of effort put into this whole night meant so much to me. I've never had an entire night dedicated to me and my happiness.

I looked and felt beautiful.

I was then to close my eyes again as we drove to our final destination.

We arrived and they led me through the door and into a room where they sat me in a comfy chair. I opened my eyes and there was another chair to my left and a camera man in the corner. James soon came and sat in the chair next to me. He then gave me my third gift.

He hand carved this stone for me. It symbolizes his love for me and that I have his heart. ( I held on to this little heart the rest of the time. It is a privilege :) )

He then explained that each person I loved was then going to take a turn having an individual moment with me. Then, one by one, each person came in and sat in the chair next to me, and the camera man recorded it. They each had a token or card they had written, and spoke from their heart about how they love/appreciate me. I love each of these people so deeply, for they are my dearest friends. This truly touched me and meant the world to me. Rosa was the last one and spoke of the pieces of my life that were changing.

At that moment I was then prompted to turn my chair around. ( I had been facing the back of the room)

All of my loved ones stood there, with James standing in the very front, dressed in a handsome suit. He then took my hand to stand me up. He spoke to me such beautiful words. (Eye contact is the best "invented thing" when love is spoken) He is so poetic and wonderful.

He then got down on one knee, pulled a red little box from his suit pocket and asked "Diana, will you marry me?"

"I would love to." I said

My fourth gift. :)

Tonight was perfect.


It is interesting how a one sentence/question can make you feel so much closer to a person.

He and my friends planned so well. I felt loved and special. Thank you for all involved

I love Him.

I'm marrying the man I have loved for many many years. <3

I am blessed.

Dreams do come true.
Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Love, and be loved.

Words: Red Roses

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Facing Fear

I'm figuring out more and more that taking a leap of faith requires facing your fears.

In order to face them you have to feel them, call them out, and move against them.

This isn't always easy.

Fear is usually created from a past experience or pain, so doing the opposite of what you feel can be challenging, but it is possible, and worth it.

I am grateful for the people in my life who present opportunities for me to face my fears and choose faith. 

I'm just realizing how important these moments are. 

If we want our lives to be better, we must change. If we want to change we must face our fears and work through comfort zones. 

I'm just realizing how blessed I am to be feeling fear and choosing to press through it.

I've heard there is beauty on the other side. :)

It's worth giving it a try.

Keep going,
Dreamer Di

Challenge: if you have something you know you should do, face your fear and accomplish it. You'll feel better when it's finished:)

Words: Quilt and cozy 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Campfire Love Letters

I am learning a lot about love.

My man works for Anasazi, a wilderness therapy program for youth, as a trail walker.  He goes hiking through desert terrain for 8 days and comes back home for 6, then leaves again. The first day he was on the trail I felt like he had died. It was the first time in the 4 years I had known him and I didn't have even a choice to contact him or talk to him. I have since grown to really like the distance though. It makes each moment with him more meaningful, anticipated and enjoyable. 

From the very beginning he started writing me letters to read while he was away. He has a couple hours of night watch and writes me letters by the fire. They explain to me what he learned that day, how he feels for me, and smell of delicious campfire smoke.

I too have started writing him a letter for each day he is on the trail... It helps us remain connected while we are apart. It has been amazing to see our bond grow, even being miles and miles away, without a sound of each others voice or touch of a hand. 

He left this morning for the trail, so I won't be seeing him for a while. 

We exchanged letters last night for this next week. I read his first letter today and I will share a short exert that created thought.

(I read the letters that he wrote the last time he was on the trail, hence the date)
February 20th, 2014 Thursday
"I learned today that people are not made to be alone. A person alone will often never see themselves for who they really are, for they get stuck in their own imperfect ideas and they cannot advance. But, when the individual  becomes a group, or just a couple, the other can see things more clearly in another, and they can provide the support and truth to each other that isn't there when one is solitary."

This is true! I am learning more and more that I need people to progress and become better. I can only go so far by myself. I am also finding that love is the motivating force between people. When you love someone you want them to become their best self, you help them, support them, and lift them up.

Let us love each other. I hope to be a support to the people I love.

May you love and be loved my friends,
Dreamer Di

Challenge: Talk to God about love.

Word: Peace

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Building A Team

I have been working on a youth program for a couple years now. The main focus is to restore hope back into our younger generation and prevent suicide physically as well as emotionally, mental and spiritually. The goal is to get into schools for assemblies. Each presentation will include humor, inspiration and music.

Today I am putting a presentation together to present the idea to a group of people.

I am starting a non-profit and need a handful of dedicated team members to build this. During this meeting I will present the details and will carefully interview each candidate. I may invite a lot of people, but I am expecting a small handful to have the heart, dedication and qualifications to work on our team. I am excited to work with them.

I am excited to be moving it forward. It has been a long process, and I am relieved to see if blossoming.

I have no idea how to build a team, non-profit, or lead a group of people in this manner, but I will do the best I can.

This has been on my heart for so many years, and it is time to bring it to the table.

I am going to need all the help I can get.

Dreamer Di

Challenge: Recruit people to help you

Words: Sticky note

I Don't Care If You Read This

Can I be honest with you? I really don't like sharing my life with anyone. I want to just live in my happy little bubble, create magnificent things and enjoy the special people in my life.

I've continued to have a pressing force in the back of my mind and heart that I am to share. Share what I am doing, how I think, beleive, and plans I am moving towards. 

I don't like the idea one bit, but I will do the best I can to share.

It's interesting that something you feel you are suppose to do, is the thing you hate most. Why does it have to be that way?

I do not like to be in the limelight or have light shown on what I'm doing. I repulse the idea actually. I have ran and hid from this responsibility for years, but it has now cornered me. I will give you all I can. It is going to take work, humility and practice, but I will share.

To be honest, if you like what I share or not, I don't care. I can't care. It's hard enough laying your life out a silver platter for the world to see, so I can't care what results, praise or hate comes from it.

I am moving out of fear of my soul being destroyed, if I do not move.

I hope that one day that energy will be transferred to wanting to help people out of love and not out of duty.

Love me or hate me,
My Name is Dreamer Di

Challenge: Do what you are called to do

Word: Submit

Monday, February 10, 2014

Get 'Er Done

To gain more, you first have to cut back.

You cut back on spending. Cut back on specific food and calories. Cut back "time waster" things. Cut back on physical belongings around you. Cut back on people that don't uplift you. Cut back on too many commitments, etc.

It's literally bridling every passion and pull.

Having the discipline to eat the right foods, budget your money, spend quality time with the people most important, saying no to unfruitful yet time filling opportunities takes immense focus.

Disconnecting from mindsets of "Have to haves" "I'm suppose to be here" and "This is how it goes" is challenging.

I am a happy person. I experience a lot of peace, see blessings throughout my life and feel the love of God often. I have beautiful supportive purposeful relationships and am very blessed.

I could pretend that my life is perfect and without challenges, but that would not be telling you the truth.

I work very hard for what I have. I consistently, and weekly, sow into each individual relationship important to me. Sometimes the relationship has been one sided, and has taken years for some to begin to return the same love given, but the fruit is growing. This isn't always easy and takes time. Eating organic, gluten-free and refined sugar free on a $25 budget a week is not easy either. It takes a lot of thought, strategic meal planning and compromising desires, but it is possible, and I am doing it. It is not easy to donate most of what I own to create space and energy to create at a higher rate than before. It is not easy to focus, motivate myself, work from home, be in complete control of my schedule, and discipline my time. It is not easy to stare my weaknesses in the face and go after them instead of run. This is painful and not easy, but I have become a better person everyday by the emotional, mental and spiritual work done.

Each one of these things takes intense work, focus and faith to believe they are possible. That the work now, will pay off later.

I am feeling the pain of lack today.

I create these situations myself, and on purpose. The lack I am feeling today is disconnecting from what I once felt was important and defined me. It is time to move on from these things. In these moments I have to be gentle and kind to myself. Walking myself through a process of understanding, as if I was a child. Explaining to myself that I am worth it, loved, and the cutting away is for purpose.

I really do believe that refining you, your area, your interests, your ideas, your time= beauty in the end.

The seeds have been planted and I will continue to nurture each of these "plants" and desires. Fruit will show its face when the season comes. 

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: If you are working towards something, don't see how its possible or if the work is worth it, keep going. I really do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Words: Bumble Bee :)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

I Can Feel It

My eyes have been opened that I have hid for so many years.

All I know is, since I cleared my entire room, and got rid of a lot of connected emotional baggage in the last two days, I am free. 

My gifts are shining, unashamed. For example, last night I expressed mightily through dance and boldly felt every beat. 

I am amazed by what I am experiencing. It has only been one day since the finish of my cleansing, and things are blooming beautifully.

I can feel it. 

My offering of release worked.

You know what I realize. People are either going to love or hate you. 

Fully express anyway. 

I can't cater to each persons thoughts, feelings or misunderstandings.

That is not my job or problem.

But what I can do is express what I have, and who I am.

I will continue to do so.

I am also imperfect, and gosh it feels good to accept that.

Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: Let go so you can love yourself, your life and your gifting.

Words: Freedom Warrior

Do me a favor? I would really like to connect with more dreamers who also desire freedom of self-expression. Please share the blog posts you enjoy so your friends may connect with us here. Thanks. ;)

Friday, February 7, 2014

I Am Not A Painter

I am defining who I am in this moment.

I decided that I was going to go through my room and get rid of anything that does not align with my truth, who I am, and where I'm going.

It's interesting, I am defining who I am by declaring what I am not. I realized this as I decided to get rid on hundreds of dollars of painting supplies today. I realized, I don't want to paint, I don't ever want to and I don't want to keep this anymore. I am not a painter.

Instead of there being a loose end of "am I a painter?" The answer is no. I just decided. This is not how I want to use my creative energy. I jumped into painting head first, tried it.... It's not for me. I'm letting it go.

I believe that I am letting go of emotional ties to the past while I do this. Holding onto things because they cost me money, a new hobby I tried and didn't stick with, clothes that one day I might like, a gift because someone gave it to me, things I held on to "just in case."

It's all going.

Realizing that giving away an item is not taking away from the moment, experience or relationship, but giving me room now to enhance what is important.

I am done wasting space, energy, thought, creativity and more.

I am done with it.

I even am burning my vision board I made in 2008. Those things were all great goals then, and I accomplished a ton of them, but I'm through with just having dreams on a board. I want reality. No wishing, hoping and praying will ever be enough without doing the action it takes to get there.

I have had a lot of excuses, a lot of fears, a lot of stupid things I clung to and I still have a lot more work. But I have to let them go to succeed.

Letting go of false identity "stuff" will assist in letting go of things mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I want the RAW refined truth of who I am, my gifts and what I'm here on earth for.

I get rid of all this stuff in appreciation and peace, for this all has been part of my journey. Every hobby tested, every style tried, every note, writing and book read, has led me to who and where I am now. I am proud of my journey. But 90% of what surrounds me, does not serve me anymore.

I willingly and lovingly release it.

I invite you to let go of what does not serve you either. 

To Freedom,
Love Dreamer Di

Challenge: start small, go through your closet and throw out what you don't like. Then move on to another section.

Word: Clearing

Here is just part of what I have released in the last 48hours. All my decorations, tons of accessories, clothes, books, furniture and much more. Bye bye:)

Friday, January 17, 2014

Design Your Life

I am focused on preparation today.

Over the past two years I have gained the skill of strategicly planning ahead. Making lists, refining priorities and doing as much possible, in the shortest amount if time.

It has become fun and a game for me. 

It is the best feeling to know you've literally done everything you can think of concerning an idea or experience.

Example: I am going on to a business conference to LA this weekend. (Danijohnson.com) I have planned my time, food, purpose, finances, clothes, priorities and resources. You name it, I've planned it.

I have written up goals to accomplish and what I want to bring home from the experience. 

I have a one page paper typed up to review each thing I've planned throughout the weekend. Now I just follow directions. Easy enough eh?

This isn't a vacation. This is a planned educational event. A place that I will leave different than I was before.

I expect a lot from myself and this experience this weekend.

I literally can't think of another thing I can plan for this weekend. Every minute is purposeful, whether it be for learning, business, relaxation or fun. It's planned and now I can flow in the structure.

Living my life by design and not by default,
Dreamer Di

Challenge: Set yourself up for success

Word: Yoga 

This is my food strategicly planned for the next 4 days. All complete balanced diet, calories counted, pre-portioned and tasty.  Boom baby ;)