Friday, April 29, 2016

Mommy Dreamer, Don't Look Past The Dream You Are Already Living

Don't Look Past The Dream You Are Already Living.

This was a huge wake up call for me. Literally. It's 2:38 am and I've been up since 12:30am. My daughter is teething, 2 lower molars are just breaking their way through her bright red little gums. Poor little gal. So the last couple of days have been rough in the sleep department, for everyone involved.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm supposed to accomplish things/goals when I'm so sleep deprived. Which leaves me exhausted, imbalanced etc.

As I lay here, listening to her cry, I was reminded that in this moment, I am living what I asked for. What I’ve worked for. I wouldn't give up this moment, even the crying sleepless nights. Because being a mom is such an important desire of mine, and I’m smack dab in the middle of living it. J

I admit, the mom thing had to grow on me for years and years, but by the time the moment actually came to be a mom, I wouldn't have it any other way. And I feel so blessed to have the opportunity.

In the past I would work hard for something, reach it, and be onto the next "high" of goal setting and achieving. It got to the point of "why am I doing this?" For each victory was meaningless, empty, and short lived.

If I don’t take time to enjoy the “fruit of my labors,” it isn’t worth the effort.  I’ve had to work on stopping, embracing, and enjoying the moments of success and achievement, and in this case, is being a mother.


Well, my choice of motherhood has been refining that skill of ‘enjoying your creations’ even more. For motherhood isn't a "check off the list" endeavor. You don't just give yourself a high five and move on. It's a constant opportunity to enjoy, cherish and embrace the beauty.


So what I'm getting at is, I had to be reminded that in this very moment, I am living my dreams. I am successfully achieving my destiny, my desires and my purpose at 3am, in a dark room, tired eyes, with a hurting baby who needs me. I don’t need to feel sorry for myself that there is so much resistance to ‘become something more’ than I am now.  This resistance, learning how to take care of a wee human, is the best gift I have ever received. (And my sweet hubby) I always dreamed of being a wife and mother, and a wife and mother I am. I made it. It has been created. I have reached it. I will forever be, mom, momma, mommy.

I am grateful for the reminder that I'm "livin' the dream now" for these are the things that matter. If I were to neglect these moments for future endeavors I'd be chasing the same thing I did for years (An accomplishment high) and be empty and hopeless, with a handful of regret.

Now don't get me wrong, I strive daily to create my future, dreams and desires. But having the attitude that "I've arrived/made it" "I'm living my dreams this very second" and "I'm so grateful to be here now" makes the day go a little smoother. Makes the trying moments a little less loud and long. Makes my compassion overpower the passions that might actually try to steal this moment from me.

So as dawn breaks, and little smiles wake me up bright and early. As I get another opportunity to try again, to do the best I can. As I look over plans, dreams and goals tomorrow. As I work towards new things, I hope to always remember, that these moments wont last forever. That each day I progress slowly, but the present is of great worth. So learn to enjoy today, now. For the only thing stopping the future from becoming the present, is time.

I will strive to enjoy these beautiful moments. I’ve worked hard to be here.

(P.s. She's sleeping here, next to me, in bed now. Teal owl nighty, green stuffed froggie, comforted, snuggly little body and all. My precious little dream come true.)

Momma Dreamer Di

Challenge: Look at what you can appreciate/notice in your life today that is a gift and choose an attitude of enjoyment, love and gratitude.

Word: Dependent :)

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