You know, I was watching this video today and the beginning, when the plane crashed, reminded of some thoughts I had the other day.
You know how they say, "God won't test you above what you are able?"
I believe that.
But I also believe it gets pretty close. I've never been so close to loosing everything as I did this last November, 2013.
If I wouldn't have listened to God, humbled my heart and came to people for help, you wouldn't be hearing from me right now.
As scary as that sounds it was reality.
This last two years I have had to fight with every ounce of strength, will power and determination to not quit on life, love, dreams, purpose, people, myself.
I did everything I could, but still little relief.
This last test burned hotter than ever. This was when I was tested if I would give up on God.
I was so angry with Him.
I didn't understand His timing, purpose, and why I had struggled so intensely for the past two years.
I felt He had abandoned me and that His promises would never come true.
And because of that, I chose to turn from Him for just a split second.
In that second I was almost destroyed.
In my last ditch effort, I turned to God once more, I broke, and He caught me.
Let me clarify, God is one of my bestest friends. He has been there for me and supported me through so many ups and downs, rebellions and victories.
And because of the relationship we've built, I turned back to Him.
You know how they say, "When you're struggling, it is because you're about to breakthrough, something beautiful is about to happen, be promoted by God etc?"
I believe that. I am living proof of it.
I don't know what God refined out of me these last two years, but whatever it was, I'm glad it's gone.
I am happy, peaceful and have let go of unimportant things and details. I am enjoying the moment, preparing for the next, but not worrying about the future.
Although these last two years were hard, I wouldn't trade them for the world.
I have been praying for peace, joy and love for a long time. I didn't realize I needed some nasty things pulled out that blocked these beautiful gifts.
If I had given up I would have never experienced the beauty I am feeling now.
It is a miracle. It is a blessing.
God knew what He was doing.
And He knows what He's doing now.
I'm so grateful for Him and the loved ones who supported me when I had no strength to fight or stand.
Don't be ashamed to ask for help. God and people want to help you.
You can do this.
Love Dreamer Di
Challenge: Let go of ego and pride and be loved