I have learned something else, and I am going to experiment with it.
A while ago I learned that my perception of my self worth is displayed in my financial standings. I had thought about this idea, but I hadn't let it sink in, until yesterday.
The Lord has given me the means to pay off my credit card, twice. Where I would pay it to zero and celebrate with joy that I was debt free and express that I wasn't going to use my credit card again. But again, both times, something "important" came up and the card was filled right to the limit again. I felt I hadn't been using my credit card so I always was dazzled that it was full and almost didn't understand. I understand why now...
As I am on this adventure here in eastern hemisphere, the only bills I have to pay right now is this one credit card and my school loan. As I was going over my finances and mapping out a financial plan, the debt was killing me. Interest being so high, it was literally eating my money like a smelly hairy monster! BOO! Go home ya beast! haha I thought over ideas. I decided to write an email to a friend, explaining my situation and pleading for the exact amount, willing to work out a payment plan based on percentages brought in, and interest to them would be included. $100 more than what they leant me. Ew it makes me sick to my stomach to think I almost sent it. The email didn't feel right so I saved it as a draft, to think on.
Reading that night, it was revealed to me again that my finances are a reflection of my beliefs of worth. I have been working on changing my belief systems from deprivation mode into abundance. I am seeing a difference. I realize I don't need to go into debt anymore, ever again. Asking for a loan from someone else would just pacify the problem, give slight relief, but the issue would still be there. I’m so glad I didn't send that email.
So last night I made a decision. The ideas of a couple of my role models and trusted mentors came to mind. One: The only reason you go into debt is because you don't have money, you can change that. -Dani Johnson.
Two: There is no plan B. - Will smith
Meaning, There is no option to go into debt again, only into abundance. This takes trust, which I feel I have nothing to lose, for I have always been taken care of. I trust that God is the provider He says He is. So this is my step of action:
I've decided to pay my amount of debt in whole, for the last time, and close the accounts. I am making a declaration of freedom as I close these accounts. No turning back, not even an option to fail. It's in these moments, you feel just an inkling of unknown, slight fear, slight "This is stretching the heck out of me" slight "Holy Moses, that was a rush of freaking goodness!!" I also just paid the end of my school loan, and closed the account. I AM OFFICIALLY COMPLETELY ENTIRELY SPECTACULARLY SENSATIONALLY BEAUTIFULLY DEBT FREE AND IN ABUNDANCE!!!! :)
This was easier than I thought, for when you have nothing to lose you have everything to gain. For God owns everything in the world, He can add and take away. I am willing to take this risk. I believe using my travel/dream money to pay off my debt, I will reap great rewards, due to faith involved. I love my God. He is my favorite person and I am so grateful for the abundance He is opening my eyes to. He is willing to share with you also, talk to Him about it.
I'm not telling you this for you to feel worse about yourself according to the amount of debt you have. I am telling you this so you can open your eyes to where you need to focus, loving yourself, finding the worth God sees in you. He will provide a way for you to pay your debts. Christ already paid the debt for your life, who says He won't do it again. :) I believe that the more you love and respect yourself as a person, the more self worth you will feel. And who knows... Maybe the financial increase is a plus. :) I will be able to tell you my experience after this experiment.
Words of the moment: I'm hungry and going to go eat rye bread with cream cheese and raw smoked salmon.
Challenge: Dare to experiment with Gods word. Find if it's true yourself. ;)
With love,
Dreamer Di
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