Saturday, March 10, 2012

A secret I will not tell.

Perhaps creating vocal yoga with Naomi at almost midnight isn't the best timing. For there are some seemingly heavy and perhaps angry footsteps coming from the upstairs flat. Our loud screaming (for releasing purposes of course) and hysterically laughing is obviously not appreciated by everyone!

Walking out of a park today I met a little old lady named Joan. You know, as I know, that I fell madly in love with her from the moment I saw her. We walked til the end of the block, I told her I missed my granny (well like 8 of them at Fairbrook Grove Assisted Living, in Mesa) dropped a couple tears and said goodbye. To be honest all I wanted to do was spend the afternoon with her, I guess I have realized that sweet elderly people give the best truest love, and I miss it.

I had a good cry today. My soul has had moments lately of being wrenched with homesickness for my family, friends and life and sweet dog Kiwi. I had been wanting to cry for a couple days but the perfect moment hadn't presented itself. Before I left Arizona, I had a handful of my closest friends and family write me a letter of love and encouragement, to read on a hard day. I felt I would need them. I decided to read one of my love letters today. I picked one out of the pile and when I saw it was from my sister Natalee, my love for her overtook me, which then released all the pent up waterfalls. I feel better now. :) I love my dear little Natalee boo.

Today I have pondered of what to share with others concerning my life. I have always been so open, for the purpose of giving of my experiences to teach others of possibilities. But in the past couple days I have wondered what I should keep in secret or in open. Which information benefits others and what is cast aside, leaving me feeling like I cast pearls before swine. What is appreciated and what isn't. Mystery is enchanting, is it not? I am debating and investigating this theory. What does being mysterious attract? Will it attract what you want? Give you more choice? I am not yet sure what pieces you shade and what pieces you let shine, but the only way I will learn is to find out and asses for myself. This will be a slow and steady process, for my plate is rather full of delicious arts of work, but I will dabble slightly and see what results are produced.


Worth: My body is slowly healing to Gods perception. Yesterday, a couple times, my worth was tested. Ignorance is not always bliss. The outcome opened my eyes to more of what I’m worth and what to look for.

Dreaming: My ideas are being tested. I have often questioned the last couple days if what I'm doing is worth it. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I believe the results in joy, transformation and adventure will triumph over the strain.

Passions: I still have not found a piano to play, I literally feel like I have lost an essential internal organ. (pun not intended) But, hopefully tomorrow we can bring home the keyboard, someone said I could borrow, and hopefully it will fill the need. I pray the next moment I set fingers on an actual piano, that I will be alone, for tears of gratitude wilt roll from my face. I realize I have taken so many things for granted; this has caused a lot of pain the last couple days. For I miss the beauty of what I had so easily at my fingertips and touch. I have begun to paint again, which I brought with me, and also have picked up my writing again. My books I am writing "I am, Learning Who You Are Through Jesus Christ" and "Faith to Move Mountains" are back in full swing and my chest almost bursts at the idea and opportunity, as words flow from my fingertips. This is where I belong.

Relationship with God: There have been some momentous moments here. I have seen God respond more quickly than I ever have. Each decision and act of faith I take, is just as scary and breathtaking as the first, but God is showing me positive results as I gracefully step through the beautiful yellow tulips of His garden in a flowing green gown. On a journey like this I cleave to Him fully, for He is the only thing constant at this time of my life.

Health: Walked about 2 hours today. Ate like a chap. Need to drink more water. Took nap, feel great! :)

Satisfaction: I felt satisfied with my day today. All of it. :) I am quite proud of myself and my accomplishments today. Also made wise financial choice and took time for myself. I= happy.

I have never wanted waterproof makeup more in my life. I have walked out of places with Kiss style make up down my cheeks, but I am grateful I can feel, for I once felt nothing.

I really do love you and want you to succeed,
Dreamer Di <3

My theme song;

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