Seriously insane!

Ohhhh MANNNN! Talk about dropping off the face of the earth ay?

I kinda disappeared for a while, but I think I'm ready to come back out again. haha IT"S ON. :)

I am getting a taste of my dreams again. Starting to pick up momentum again and making progress. Here are some results:
- I have released about 42 pounds, YAY body!! :)
- My health lifestyle has completely changed. Healthy food is my favorite food, not a mouthful of healthy food.
- As I am learning to love my body, which helps me make better decisions for it.
- I am laughing A LOT more.
- I am more stable financially then I ever have been
- In the last year and a half I have cleansed my area and have reduced my "stuff" around me by 90%.
- I make my bed every day. I know that seems so little! But dude! It's amazing how much of a difference it makes for your room!
- My things are organized and everything I own has a purpose.
- My relationships with my friends and family are becoming deeper and I am growing more in love with who they are, just as they are. I love you guys! :)


A couple things I'm actively working on:
- Getting 7.5- 8 hours a night


I am starting to feel the fire again, or at least dabble with it. ;) oh, how I love being a piro.

I hope you are loving your life and having a whole BUNCH of fun.

I dare you to find and feel your fire,
Dreamer Di

Words of the day: Fire breathing dragon

Challenge: Do something highly embarrassing, just so you can laugh about it hysterically later.
Ideas:
- Moon someone who would never expected it, just to see their facial reaction.
- Pretend to cry hysterically on the floor of your local grocery store, then run out to your car.
- Send a random text to 20 random people, like "Hey would you like me to make you pudding for school tomorrow?" The reactions are HILARIOUS, trust me!! ha especially to people you rarely talk to. ha

Results of Change

Each day of being home, I realize how much I have changed. My interests are different, motives and ideas, changed. I'm starting to see how my trip has benefited me. I am now imbedded with new ideas and realities. I really like the results.

I feel like I'm more in line with my ultimate direction than ever before. I love the new things I am focusing on and the foundation I am building.

One thing I'm tapping into from the trip is:  I had caged myself, more than anything or anyone I faught against, for my freedom. What does freedom mean to you?

Everything I have learned is for my good and I am a stronger person today because of it.

Word of the day: Popcorn
Challenge: Be free mayne
Idea: Results are what counts

Keep it real,
Dreamer Di

Let the Wild Side Fly

I am finding that I have cared what people thought, way more then I thought I did. I am finding hidden ways that I have cared.

I am very observant. Being able to feel the energy in the room and then adapting myself to my surroundings. this is a positive quality, but I have been out of balance. I have worked so hard at not offending people, that I have not been my full witty self, and have suppressed some of the best parts of me.

I have put my wild side away for the past 4 years, because I didn't want to offended a stand by person or come off as "irresponsible, rowdy, uncontrollable etc.". So I had stopped pulling little pranks on my friends and family, stopped my dramatic reenactments, loud shouts of joy, outbursts of laughter and excitement, and a lot of things that made me, me. I realize that I only have to care what God thinks, and be in harmony with His plan for my life and be me!

I have just recently started to let this grow again.

Here is an example: Rosa(bff0, Natalee(Sister) and I floated the river in my boat for the first time this summer on May 5th. I have a couple inflatable row boats, compactable, so they can fit in the trunk of my Civic. Rosa decided she wanted to stand up in the boat. I challenged her to see how long she could stand, she accepted the challenge and held her stance. I then decided to kick her little hinny with my leg and sent her flinging forward, face first into the water. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time!!!

All three of us, including Rosa, and others around us, laughed HYSTERICALLY as Rosa, coughing up river water, pulled herself back into seated position. Moments like this make memories, right? haha

Oh and don't you worry, Rosa gets me back, which I like. She just scared the crap out of me a couple mins ago, and sending pure adrenaline streaming through my entire body. Moments like this remind you you're alive. Plus... it gives me an opportunity to retaliate. ;)

Let the fun and games begin again. ;) I forgot how much I love peoples reactions when something is out of the ordinary!

Challenge: Do something really dramatic today that makes someone, or a group of people laugh hysterically! Ex: Pretend to be Richard Simmons, and do a dance in the middle of Walmart. Full with facial expression, "I'm sexy and I know it", and attitude!!! Seriously! Wouldn't that be hilarious! ha Hope I hear about some of these funny moments!

Words of the day: Blue Cheese (Which by the way, I tried the most disgusting blue cheese in Ireland, the deli man, who offered for me to try it, laughed hysterically at my facial expression. I love that I could be a good story for him and his family later.. haha)

I wub you you wubbery people,

Dreamer Di

Did she really tickle him?!

I have decided to get up off the ground. I am back in the swing of things. I listened to a recording with my family, about how our thoughts create our reality. I decided I was going to dig up some of my old habits and start working on my mind.

I have created a list of somethings I recite to myself each morning, made a health plan and priority list. This helps keep me balanced.I work best when I have something to work towards, and when I came home the last thing I wanted to do was work on anything! But yet again, the work is never over, and to be honest, I love to work. I just needed a break for a min.

This next season of my life is dedicated to fun and enjoying what I have. For in London I realized that I need to work on feeling more satisfied with what I accomplish and do. I am excited to have some fun and let my creative wild side run free for a while. For me, that could mean an entire day in nature, floating the river in my boat, writing music, chillin with the Lord, acting out experiences, not doing my hair, talking to myself, singing and dancing. How do you like to have fun?

Challenge: I dare you to have a blast today. ;)
Word of the day: Happiness

I love you,
Dreamer Di

I think you're beautiful. :)

Change and what we willing to sacrifice for it?

The fire burnt hot, but the experience was one to remember. I can almost see steam coming from my body, processing everything that I experienced. The stretch spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically was more than I ever expected.

Before I left on my trip across Europe I decided that I really wanted to dedicate this trip to changing/refining my mindsets, to truth. It would be the perfect set up, being removed from every comfort zone and away from every familiar influence of thought. Stepping completely into the Lords learning zone. Just me, Him, and my mindsets, true or false. I decided to jump for it.

I did not know what to expect, for I had never completely jumped like that before, into the complete unknown. This trip was more than leisure, it was more than seeing the world, I was looking for change.

Have you ever wanted something so bad you were willing to do anything to get there? This was the point I was at when I finally left February 29th, 2012, got on the plane for my first flight to Chicago, which then left to London.

As I sat there, alone, in the Phoenix airport, ready to board the plane to Chicago, my fears started to arise. My strongest emotion was "What the hell am I doing?" as I looked around at so many people around me, realizing that I was now completely on my own. I was seriously tempted to turn around and go home. 

I cried more in the first two weeks of the trip than I ever had in my life. Serious moments of stretching and pain. I have never prayed so much in my life. There were so many beautiful moments during the trip, I just never expected to be that hard.

I'm pretty sure, this decision and adventure has taught me more than  any one experience I have ever had. It has definitely changed me.

I will soon be up off the floor, wipe off the dust and continue on. But as for now, I must take a moment to breathe.

-Dreamer Di

I will write more of what I learned tomorrow.

Hard knocks of Traveling

Well, my trip was a success. I went to Europe without a plan, learned a bunch of stuff, had my priorities straightened out, found what was beautiful in my life already and am pumped and motivated to continue to live more of my dreams.

Along with the life lessons I learned on this trip, there were such moments of joy and victory. I am so happy I was able to go see the countries I did, meet the people I met, and live wildly for a couple months. I am currently now at home and it is amazing to see my own transformation. I am slowly beginning to see what has changed and how I am different.

I went on this trip to grow. I knew this was going to be hard, but I had no idea HOW hard it would be. There were moments when I wanted to throw in the towel and everything I have worked for. Moments when I cried harder than I ever had, out of pain, stretching and refinement. Moments when I wanted to quit and sell out. But I didn't, I stuck it through right til the end.

See not having a plan, I obviously didn't know what to plan for exactly. Including finances, so the money I had saved was used quickly for expenses I never knew existed. For part of the reason I am home is the money ran out, and as of yesterday on my 'return to the states date' I had $1.37 in my account. hahaha crazy ay? nothing like traveling Europe til you run out of money!! But now I have learned, what to do, what not to do. I learned through the hard knocks, not from a book. I learned the cold hard truth of reality on this trip and how to be COMPLETELY self reliant, more than I ever had. I had thought I did pretty well before but now I know how to prepare even more.

I felt things I have never felt before, stretched in areas that have always been so comfortable. I will tell you honestly, this trip was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it was one of the best things I could have done. I learned more than I ever could have at a desk, in a book or anywhere else. Experiencing it myself brought so much wholeness and understanding.

I will go back, I will go explore the beautiful places I saw, and many more. I will continue my goal of being a world traveler and enjoying each moment, I just know, I will do it a lot differently, next time.

I dare you to be real,
Dreamer Di

Word of the day: Woah

Challenge: Push through the hard times, for you come out on the other side stronger and better than you ever were before. Dare to dream, even if it means going through hell and fire to reach the end. I promise it's worth it. I will explain more when more of the steam rolls of and my clothes aren't on fire anymore. ;) You'll do fine, just keep pressing through.

Disconnecting, letting go of security.

How do you feel about “what if’s?” Teddy and I are going through our things and organizing them, again. We are laughing hysterically at some of the things we brought 'just in case.' Haha “I brought.. bug spray…!” –Teddy.  For we have never done a trip like this before so we brought every disaster idea necessary to be 'ok.'

I am debating getting rid of more of my clothes and possibly my rain jacket and umbrella. This could be a bad idea, for weather has been pretty unpredictable, but I really don’t want to have to carry it…. I am seriously debating if I need all this, crap… ha

I feel like I am learning to disconnect from stupid things like… things.. Seriously, it’s all just stuff.

Sometimes planning for the “what if’s” is just hauling a bunch of crap around, emotional or substance… haha I might take some risks and get rid of some things. ;)

I am going to see what life offers when you don't have every second and idea planned. I'm kinda scurrred, but excited at the same time.

Words of the moment: Happiness and You're purdy. ;)

Challenge: What can you throw away today!!?

Love,

Dreamer Di

Freaking let go mayne!

The best fresh fruit drinks in a Barcelona Market, for 1euro!

I realize the beginning of my trip sucked because I was trying to work on too many things at once. I had emails I was constantly writing, lists of people to continue to build a relationship with, expectations this, continue this process that, bed times, eating and money spending restrictions. Which all are wise and end goals of how I want to live my life, but I had gotten WAY too serious. Leaving NO time for true enjoyment.

I have been doing this for the past year or so, running myself to the ground and letting so much beauty pass me by. Did I accomplish a lot? Yeah, I guess, but not only did I not stop to smell the roses, but I stomped on a couple.

I've decided to drop all my "busy" expectations and the last 3 days have been awesome and enjoyable. I let go, such a relief.

It's nice to laugh and be goofy again. I also enjoyed being dramatic and making Teddy jump a whole bunch of times, which I'm learning she's quite reactive!! haha Which means fun for me!!! I forgot what a hoot is was to rile people up a bit.

I've decided to dedicate this next season of my life to fun. Get back to my roots of hysterical laughter, pranks and jokes and letting things roll off me.

Word of the Day: Cowhide

Challenge: Pull a prank on someone you know, or glue a coin to the ground and daydream of peoples reactions!!! haha

Funny note: Teddy and I walked around and spoke with deep men voices in spanish, then realized we probably could be offending some people... So we changed to a manly whisper... ;) haha

Weirdest/worst thing I've smelt lately: HUNDREDS of hanging pig legs!!! YUCK!

Rock on lovers,

Dreamer Di

Testing, Testing, one, two, three

Testing, testing, one, two, three, do I really want my dreams? I’m being tested more than even before, I appreciate I am given a choice if I want these dreams or not. If there wasn’t a struggle to get there, it wouldn’t be worth it in the end.

The past couple weeks I have been debating if I really want these things I have desired for years. For now that I’m doing exactly what I have wanted, I realize how much work this all will take. Am I willing to take a risk, for something more?

I have always pushed on, continued to move. But these goals are bigger than I’ve ever dreamed, much more work, much more dedication and taking more strength.

I also am grateful. Tests prepare me to act more efficiently in the future. What to do and not to do. Getting past my first experience of world travel I will be educated, to do it again, but in style.

I am finding clothes I love here, interestingly enough they are all from India. :) The more I find the more it makes me want to go to India, I will definitely plan more than I have on this trip. Haha

I left, wanting to “Be free.”  I left with the idea of what freedom was, and now, my outlooks have changed, and I know how to be prepared next time. I like the way I learn, by experience, it is not the easiest, to be straight up, it completely sucks sometimes.. ha But yet, I still continue to learn this way. It gives me a full perspective which I appreciate, for I like to understand. How do you learn?

Words of the day: Lollypop, consistency

Challenge: Make yourself laugh for 2 straight mins, even if you have to fake it, your subconscious can not tell the difference, real or fake, and you mood will suddenly lift. ;)

Have a beautiful rocking day,

Dreamer Di

Get up and start again.

Waking up in a new day, you look back at the moments the day before. You can't help but laugh, cry and love the times you've lived through. Times when life feels so hard, are the times you really need people. I am so blessed by the wonderful people around me.

My hardest days have come when I am exhausted. Almost like my defenses are down, I have been working on getting more sleep the last year and these days have lessoned. So getting little sleep the last 2-3 nights then hauling my stuff to train stations, metro stations then up and down Spainish steep hills, I was exhausted. All of my elements have been stretched.

I have hard days when I have wanted to curl up in a ball and not want to go on. But I had hardly ever told anyone and just tried to deal with it myself. But yesterday I tried it, I let the world know I was struggling. People responded, I feel better today becuase of the love that surrounded me in a hard time. This is the love I have sown for.

It is interesting that when we are in our hardest times, that is when love is shines the brightest. I've decided not to run away from the light and warmth of love, even when a dark hole is what's "comforted" me in the past.

Words of the day: Get up, and start again.. ;)

Challenge: Who can you love today?

I love you,
Dreamer Di

I feel like I've been punked..

To be straight up with you, this trip has not been what I expected. It is hard, long, stressful, and a TON of work. Teddy and I both have been wondering when the "refining process" the "stretching period" the "I'm out of my comfort zone but now I'm ok" will pass.

From having to find our way around city streets where we do not speak the same language, maps the size of a car to try to find the right direction, carrying all our things with us and so many logistics etc. It literally has stretched us to the core.

The Lord told us we could dream, we belived Him and jumped. I just don't know how much more we can give. We left everything we had, quit our jobs, left all structure, left eveything comfortable, everything we loved, and took a leap of faith. We thought that the actual leap would be the hardest part, but the stress and hard times have continued.

Gosh, was all this worth it? I could have stayed home and found another way to feel like this, without having so many pieces to put back together when I return.

I am begining to wonder if all this work is worth it. I thought all my work before this trip would be enough to "pay and effort" for the fun and adventure I wanted. I have been out here 43 days. How long will it take?

I have wanted to travel since a child. I have wanted to explore the world and different cultures. I have wanted to live my dreams to also show you you can too. But at the moment my experience of dreaming isn't a positive note. At the moment I can not be an advocate for dreaming. I am hoping this outlook with change.

This isn't what I bargined for.

Words of the day/Challenge: Can you please pray for Teddy and Mine enjoyment while on this trip? We have worked so hard to be here, doing what we have always dreamed. We would appreciate your help.

Love Dreamer Di

Do you feel you're heard?

Forgive me my dear friends for my lack of writing. My brain has been quite busy in thought, processing and healing. I want you to know that I love you. I really want you to succeed and reach for the things you truly desire. I am going to be honest with you. What you want might not always be the easiest road. For this trip has stretched me in many areas and I have had lots of silent moments to ponder. The Lord has really taken me in and is slowly helping my mind expand to be able to hold the blessings He has in store for me. This has not been the most comfortable thing I have experienced and to be honest there has been moments when I wanted to quit and go back to my comfortable, happy, perfect life. Just as I had it. But, the reason I took this leap of faith was because I believe there is more than what is right outside my front door and I can really have it.

My heart is being stretched to trust the Lord will provide a way for me to achieve my goals. When I trust in Him I feel peace. This has been a constant reminder when I am feeling alone or that I do not have enough, that I am in His hands and I shall not fear. I have cried so much on this trip due to fear and unknown. Which are tears I haven’t really felt or released before. But this is where I have stepped into something new, something bigger, and something wilder, Gods territory.

I have talked to God for a long time, wanting to see His adventurous wild side. For I believe He is a God of many likes and activity and I've wanted to see what He is capable of in this area. I asked in faith and ignorance at the same time. For I have now put myself in a position where He HAS to be in complete control and provision. And I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to feel so helpless and have to trust in the promises He gives me. I am having to choose to believe in His ways 100%. It is Him and I on this journey, realizing I literally might not survive without him has truly humbled me. I had thought I had trusted in Him before, but as I have left everything I have known behind me I realize there are so many other ways I can.

A couple weeks ago there was a stretch where I didn't sleep for almost 5 nights. For my mind was racing to find solutions and I was so scared because no solutions were coming that could quench my fear and need. During this time I stretched more in faith then I think I ever have. For the only person that could produce the results I needed in that small period of time was God. Let me tell you, my heart has never cried so strongly and soul pleaded for Him as I did then. For I was holding on to the promises He had gave me at the beginning of the trip and the actions I had taken, but my faith was stretched that what he promised was actually going to show up. Have you ever felt like your actions and work are in vain? I have felt this before and all I know is, I have been testing A LOT of his promises. And.... He showed up. He has taken care of my concern and I am at peace about what I was so desperately praying for. He released me from the hell I was in.

Now other things have came up since then. Other feelings and logistics that I know I cannot do on my own. But from this first experience above, he showed up, and solved my problem, and gave me hope and peace. So I will hold on to that again, that He will take care of my needs again. I am so grateful we can work together.

The reality of my dreams would be nonexistent without my Lord and Savior.

My trip has been so wonderful, I am so grateful for my beautiful abundant life. :)

Let God lead your dreams. I am living proof it is possible. He loves you and wants you to enjoy your beautiful little life. ;) Keep your head up and continue moving forward in joy. I believe in you, the hardships are for your good and I pray you find beauty in each moment. You are worth that. :) I hope all is well in your world.

I love you dearly,

Dreamer Di

Word of the day: Peaches

Challenge: I dare you to enjoy an ENTIRE day. :)

A secret I will not tell.

Perhaps creating vocal yoga with Naomi at almost midnight isn't the best timing. For there are some seemingly heavy and perhaps angry footsteps coming from the upstairs flat. Our loud screaming (for releasing purposes of course) and hysterically laughing is obviously not appreciated by everyone!

Walking out of a park today I met a little old lady named Joan. You know, as I know, that I fell madly in love with her from the moment I saw her. We walked til the end of the block, I told her I missed my granny (well like 8 of them at Fairbrook Grove Assisted Living, in Mesa) dropped a couple tears and said goodbye. To be honest all I wanted to do was spend the afternoon with her, I guess I have realized that sweet elderly people give the best truest love, and I miss it.

I had a good cry today. My soul has had moments lately of being wrenched with homesickness for my family, friends and life and sweet dog Kiwi. I had been wanting to cry for a couple days but the perfect moment hadn't presented itself. Before I left Arizona, I had a handful of my closest friends and family write me a letter of love and encouragement, to read on a hard day. I felt I would need them. I decided to read one of my love letters today. I picked one out of the pile and when I saw it was from my sister Natalee, my love for her overtook me, which then released all the pent up waterfalls. I feel better now. :) I love my dear little Natalee boo.

Today I have pondered of what to share with others concerning my life. I have always been so open, for the purpose of giving of my experiences to teach others of possibilities. But in the past couple days I have wondered what I should keep in secret or in open. Which information benefits others and what is cast aside, leaving me feeling like I cast pearls before swine. What is appreciated and what isn't. Mystery is enchanting, is it not? I am debating and investigating this theory. What does being mysterious attract? Will it attract what you want? Give you more choice? I am not yet sure what pieces you shade and what pieces you let shine, but the only way I will learn is to find out and asses for myself. This will be a slow and steady process, for my plate is rather full of delicious arts of work, but I will dabble slightly and see what results are produced.

Updates:

Worth: My body is slowly healing to Gods perception. Yesterday, a couple times, my worth was tested. Ignorance is not always bliss. The outcome opened my eyes to more of what I’m worth and what to look for.

Dreaming: My ideas are being tested. I have often questioned the last couple days if what I'm doing is worth it. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I believe the results in joy, transformation and adventure will triumph over the strain.

Passions: I still have not found a piano to play, I literally feel like I have lost an essential internal organ. (pun not intended) But, hopefully tomorrow we can bring home the keyboard, someone said I could borrow, and hopefully it will fill the need. I pray the next moment I set fingers on an actual piano, that I will be alone, for tears of gratitude wilt roll from my face. I realize I have taken so many things for granted; this has caused a lot of pain the last couple days. For I miss the beauty of what I had so easily at my fingertips and touch. I have begun to paint again, which I brought with me, and also have picked up my writing again. My books I am writing "I am, Learning Who You Are Through Jesus Christ" and "Faith to Move Mountains" are back in full swing and my chest almost bursts at the idea and opportunity, as words flow from my fingertips. This is where I belong.

Relationship with God: There have been some momentous moments here. I have seen God respond more quickly than I ever have. Each decision and act of faith I take, is just as scary and breathtaking as the first, but God is showing me positive results as I gracefully step through the beautiful yellow tulips of His garden in a flowing green gown. On a journey like this I cleave to Him fully, for He is the only thing constant at this time of my life.

Health: Walked about 2 hours today. Ate like a chap. Need to drink more water. Took nap, feel great! :)

Satisfaction: I felt satisfied with my day today. All of it. :) I am quite proud of myself and my accomplishments today. Also made wise financial choice and took time for myself. I= happy.

I have never wanted waterproof makeup more in my life. I have walked out of places with Kiss style make up down my cheeks, but I am grateful I can feel, for I once felt nothing.

I really do love you and want you to succeed,

Dreamer Di <3

My theme song;

I swear! I don't do drugs.. Im just happy!

I feel stinkin amazing. I have had the best day today.

I made a new friend, named James. He was the water system repair man, He ended up staying and hanging out for an hour, luckily I was one of His last jobs.. :) We had the best chat, laughed, talked about tons of things, I played him some of my music I am working on right now and I'm excited to hang out with Him again. Such a wonderful guy! I am really enjoying the kind Men I am meeting here in London!

I went to bikram yoga. Which is where you do a 90 min yoga class in a 100 degree 40% humidity room and you sweat your guts out and I love it! I practiced this type of Yoga in the states and I'm so happy I found it here too! It is quite different than the yoga I practice before, but enough the same that I don't feel like a beginner. A couple more classes and I'll know the order of postures and be able to flow. :)

I ate like a champ. Had 2 meals today. Dark leafy lettuce wraps filled with rice, chicken, carrots, cream cheese, raw smoked salmon and hot sauce(duh). Some deliciously chewy grain bread, slightly warmed with butter and honey. Lots of water and a piece of hazel nut chocolate for a treat. :) Yummy.

I had the house to myself, so I decided to have some fun. Sometimes I like to talk to myself and act out scenes, and I took well advantage of it tonight! I had the most amazing night chatting with imaginary friends in imaginary scenarios. Gosh, sounds so crazy, but I really had fun.

I imagined a beautiful Spanish man named Alejandro, tall, with wavy hair, slightly past His ears. His eyes were dark brown and you could almost not stare at them, for they were so beautiful and true. Large stature with nice definition in his arms, with a very defined collar bone. I'll stop there, but all I can say is he was a HUNK! haha

We took a train to the coast of Spain and he surprised me by taking me to the BEST sea food restaurant. (my fave) Where I had the most amazing shrimp, cooked in the most delicious butter I have ever tasted in my life, then with a slight sprinkle of garlic! OOOO! And the rice was so tasty I wished I could eat one piece of rice at a time. While the cooked carrots! Oh the carrots! Were cooked perfectly decorated, slightly sweet and smoky, almost so good I wondered if they were sprinkled with magic! The desert was a masterpiece, a round fist sized Chocolate Mountain of cake heaven with hot caramel rolling off the edges onto the hot plate. Served with two spoons we each took a bite. As the steam radiated from our mouths, our breath was taken away by the gasp of deliciousness and a moment of silence just magically happened throughout the entire restaurant. (haha)

After dinner we walked in the moon light on the beach. I was barefoot, by the way, and I was walking closest to the ocean and the waves were lightly caressing my feet... He was ever so smooth as he caught my hand, gently, mid swing. Which surprised me, every blood cell and molecule of breath in my body was giving a round of applause in joy, yet, I played it cool... THEN! All of a sudden, smiling sweetly, I took a step... And low and behold! right under my step, was a crab! I nearly had a baby as I screamed a high C and leaped ferociously into the air, and you'll never guess, it happens just like in movies. I happened to leap right into Alejandro's arms!!!!!!!!! (Insert sappy instrumental music here)

Which I then cleared my throat and said, "Uhhhh, I... think I stepped on something." You know, that moment when you expect something so romantic to be said, and you hold your breath in suspense!! But instead it's this dead end line and you roll you eyes because you had hoped it was a kissing scene... Yeah yeah, I've been with you when you've watched these movies, I've seen your reactions. haha But come on, Alejandro and I are just starting to get to know each other! Kissing so soon would be too easy, have some respect!

Anyway the night ended wonderfully and he walked me home, He kissed my hand like a gentleman, and I shut the door.

The End (Applause, applause, standing ovation, "beautiful show!")

This is why I don't watch TV, I create my own Romantic Drama. ;)

When this story comes true you KNOW I will tell you about it. hahaha

It might be a bit awkward if the neighbors saw as I pranced around the house with glee in my own imaginations.

Word of the day: Buckwheat

Goal: To one day learn “I before e except after c” so I don’t have to keep spell checking words like believe, receive and perceive.

Challenge: I don't care how old you think you are, this is for you too.

Step One: Find a place you feel comfortable talking out loud to yourself

Step Two: Create an imaginary friend

Step Three: Let you imagination create a wonderful story for you to play in

Step Four: ACTION! Have fun, laugh hysterically, have your imaginary friend give you gifts, spend an outrageous amount on an elegant dinner on the coast of Australia, dance, cry etc!

You rock, and I love you, good luck ;)

Dreamer Di

My Declaration for Abundance

I have learned something else, and I am going to experiment with it.

A while ago I learned that my perception of my self worth is displayed in my financial standings. I had thought about this idea, but I hadn't let it sink in, until yesterday.

The Lord has given me the means to pay off my credit card, twice. Where I would pay it to zero and celebrate with joy that I was debt free and express that I wasn't going to use my credit card again. But again, both times, something "important" came up and the card was filled right to the limit again. I felt I hadn't been using my credit card so I always was dazzled that it was full and almost didn't understand. I understand why now...

As I am on this adventure here in eastern hemisphere, the only bills I have to pay right now is this one credit card and my school loan. As I was going over my finances and mapping out a financial plan, the debt was killing me. Interest being so high, it was literally eating my money like a smelly hairy monster! BOO! Go home ya beast! haha I thought over ideas. I decided to write an email to a friend, explaining my situation and pleading for the exact amount, willing to work out a payment plan based on percentages brought in, and interest to them would be included. $100 more than what they leant me. Ew it makes me sick to my stomach to think I almost sent it. The email didn't feel right so I saved it as a draft, to think on.

Reading that night, it was revealed to me again that my finances are a reflection of my beliefs of worth. I have been working on changing my belief systems from deprivation mode into abundance. I am seeing a difference. I realize I don't need to go into debt anymore, ever again. Asking for a loan from someone else would just pacify the problem, give slight relief, but the issue would still be there. I’m so glad I didn't send that email.

So last night I made a decision.  The ideas of a couple of my role models and trusted mentors came to mind. One: The only reason you go into debt is because you don't have money, you can change that. -Dani Johnson.

Two: There is no plan B. - Will smith

Meaning, There is no option to go into debt again, only into abundance. This takes trust, which I feel I have nothing to lose, for I have always been taken care of. I trust that God is the provider He says He is. So this is my step of action:

I've decided to pay my amount of debt in whole, for the last time, and close the accounts. I am making a declaration of freedom as I close these accounts. No turning back, not even an option to fail. It's in these moments, you feel just an inkling of unknown, slight fear, slight "This is stretching the heck out of me" slight "Holy Moses, that was a rush of freaking goodness!!" I also just paid the end of my school loan, and closed the account. I AM OFFICIALLY COMPLETELY ENTIRELY SPECTACULARLY SENSATIONALLY BEAUTIFULLY DEBT FREE AND IN ABUNDANCE!!!! :)

This was easier than I thought, for when you have nothing to lose you have everything to gain. For God owns everything in the world, He can add and take away. I am willing to take this risk. I believe using my travel/dream money to pay off my debt, I will reap great rewards, due to faith involved. I love my God. He is my favorite person and I am so grateful for the abundance He is opening my eyes to. He is willing to share with you also, talk to Him about it.

I'm not telling you this for you to feel worse about yourself according to the amount of debt you have. I am telling you this so you can open your eyes to where you need to focus, loving yourself, finding the worth God sees in you. He will provide a way for you to pay your debts. Christ already paid the debt for your life, who says He won't do it again. :) I believe that the more you love and respect yourself as a person, the more self worth you will feel. And who knows... Maybe the financial increase is a plus. :) I will be able to tell you my experience after this experiment.

Words of the moment: I'm hungry and going to go eat rye bread with cream cheese and raw smoked salmon.

Challenge: Dare to experiment with Gods word. Find if it's true yourself. ;)

With love,

Dreamer Di

I Must Fill Mine Passions Craving.

Yesterday was an interesting day of learning. I realized that I have been running from myself, who I am and what I have to offer the world. Yes, yes, you may think I have went bonkers, for my reputation portrays that I do "myself" pretty well and am doing what I can with what I have.

I have known for a while that I was a runner. When things got scary, or I felt vulnerable, able to get hurt, I would dip out. I have done this with friends and potential lovers for years. I don't want to do this anymore. I have learned in the past year or so how to recognize my want to run, and how to calm those fears and intense emotions. To sit still and breathe space, for my mind needs to settle again.

I realize that the first place I must start is to stop running from myself. An example is with my own health, I have been given this beautiful body and yet I hide behind the layers of excess. I'm not quite sure what I am afraid of, but I feel that my soul is gentle and doesn't want to be abused. So this is where I will start, with me. The running stops, today.

I prayed last night that God would guide my days starting with today, that He would make it really obvious, especially in the beginning, until I got the hang of it, what He wanted me to do. I feel like I have followed his spirit well in the past, but this is more. This I can feel hits deeper and requires even more trust. I feel I am now ready to listen.

My mind has been healing, part of my reason for this adventure is to heal my mind to truth. Step out of my old influences and fully to be led into Gods way of thinking. This has been going well but as always, healing is a process and isn't always easy.

At 6:45am I awoke to faint sunlight coming through the sheer violet curtains painting the round bay window. An overwhelming feeling beat a rhythm in my chest. An intense passion to find a piano to play. I started thinking of the places I had seen a piano during my London exploring. The list of beautiful ancient churches rolled into my mind. After a moment of thinking, as my chest was literally going to burst, I began to chuckle, for this was obviously what I was suppose to do today. God had heard my prayers. I am grateful, He has been responding quite quickly lately, and in ways my eyes can see. Call it a miracle, call it grace, but this is real.

I picture a ball room, tall ceilings, beautiful tiled shiny floors, and lavender walls laced with dated artwork. Huge windows face a lush garden, decorated with long dark flowing drapes. The smell is invigorating, as if something sweet is being cooked in the kitchen, maybe cinnamon rolls. In the middle of the room, in front of the open window, there is a full size grand piano. Shined and polished, with not a finger print in sight. A light breeze brushes my skin as I tip toe gracefully and carefully like a child to the piano, full of so much anticipation as I breathe "Can I play..?" I look around the room and not a soul is in sight, so I quietly sit down on the plush soft piano bench. I look around once again, realizing I'm alone, I press and hold one key, the ring of middle C echoes and fills the room, my soul vibrates as well. I place my hands on the keys and I begin to softly play a song I have only heard in my mind. As the moment builds, a tear begins to fall as I feel such resolution. For this is where my heart belongs, this is where I feel more than I ever have. My piano, my love, forgive me for running from your beauty, forgive me for letting you go. As I play louder my passion streams from my soul, I lean into each note as my heart sings through my fingers. I am home, this is where I belong.

As I sit here writing I see a medium sized black bird, red beaked and rustled feathers, flutter into a green leafy lattice. I wonder If he does what he loves. For birds fly with the wind, so I’m sure they flow. I can feel his excitement as he climbs through the lattice, maybe he has a nest in there, to shelter him from the cold. Have you ever wanted to be like a bird? Fly high in the blue, swooping and soaring to where the wind takes you? I think we all have the desire to fly, reach places that seem so untouchable it's almost magical when we experience it. We've all experienced moments like this at least once in our lifetime.

I want to fly more. Love more and live more. Let's find our passions together shall we? :)

Word of the day: popcorn

Challenge: Enjoy your day. Listen to your heart, ask it what it loves, what it needs. Let yourself experience the passion you feel as you indulge in what you're directed to do today. It may be something silly, I feel like I also want some fruit snacks.. So, I'm going to go buy a little package for 30pents. :) Go be happy today.

With Love,

Dreamer Di

London Exploration

It's been a couple days since I've written, It's been kinda nice to chill out a bit.

Friday night I realized something pretty big. I realize that in the past have never been satisfied. Which is a dangerous thought process. Ex: Dec 26, I made a goal to make $3000 extra, on top of what I made at Fairbrook with my parents, for Europe. Well, I made the goal, reached the $3000 in the 2 months and.. nothin. No celebration, no Joy, almost apathy towards it, no big deal. And I worked my tail off for it and when the reward came, it meant nothing to me. Then Arriving here in London, that is where I realized I had a problem, for all I wanted was to move on to the next thing. This really made me distraught, for I have worked so hard to get where I am, but if I do not enjoy it, I will not fully reap the rewards, this is with any goal. And from here my goals only get bigger and bigger, I will reach them, but I also want to enjoy them. I have to refocus my mind again, why I wanted to be here, what to accomplish etc. My goals have been: networking, connecting with the music world, exploring and enjoying life. I don't think I have truly enjoyed life in quite sometime. I used to be really good at it, but that was also when I didn't have any responsibilities, it is finding the balance now, between work and play. My favorite thing to do is work, but if I don't enjoy the fruits of my labor, I will soon burn out and possibly stop progressing due to protest of "this sucks, I'm a slave and everything I'm working on can kiss it" (Can you tell I've experienced this before? ;) ha) I'm now realizing that it is I that needs to learn to enjoy the moments I am in, which takes another level of trust, that I will still reach the places I want to go, even if I take the time to enjoy. So this is a new step of faith I am taking.

We walked through some beautiful Gardens.





We kept finding these Teepees all over the place, here's two of them.

Friday and Saturday Naomi and I walked all day, Like 7 hours. It was awesome, I was surprised that my body could handle speed walking for that amount of time, it did well. My job in Arizona at Fairbrook Grove I was on my feet all day, so I guess my body was used to it in some degree. :) We walked around and saw many beautiful things in London, I am going to study more about the places and go back the be able to give you more of a background. It is a beautiful city.

These are some videos of a little Market we stumbled upon :) Yum.



We rented bikes for the afternoon. only cost one pound to rent a bike for 24hours. Amazing! I'll probably do this again.





Rush hour was WAY different then I am used to. I have never seen so many people, moving so fast, in my life! I'm used to cars piled on a busy freeway, but not in London, getting on the train, which they call the tube, was intense! You pack in these little train cars like sardines! I was comfortable with the fact because I like to go to Music concerts, and be close to the front, and also huge dance parties, so body on body in a small area was normal. haha I would have taken a picture, but people didn't look very happy and I'm trying to be a part of the culture not a tourist. But I will see what I can do so you can see what I mean. The train system is really cool here. I am going to adventure out more the next couple days.

 Here's some more pictures :)

This is Royal Albert Hall, One of the most famous venues of the world, it is absolutely beautiful! Me and Naomi are going to see a show here the 17th of March called Classical Spectacular. Where The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra is going to play all the classics with thundering cannons and indoor fireworks. I am so excited for this show!

Common Gardens

Isn't she pretty!

Words of the day: "To be or not to be", and "Slow internet can die."

Challenge: Go to the market and buy yourself something from a different country. You might like it! ;) Yum.